War on Divorce

has anyone tried the divorce busting system by michelle weiner davis? i just ran across the divorce busting system by this lady and it seems to be the real deal, has anyone actually tried it yet?

Has anyone read "Divorce Busting"? Did the techniques work for you?

Has anyone read the book "Divorce Busting" and did it help repair your marriage?

Has anyone use the site called Divorce Busting? http://www.divorcebusting.com/ I'm curious if anyone read the book &/or used the site?

are most men after a divorce financially busted or even bankrupt? If so, why?

Michael Jordan won many games but is he winning in divorce court now? Why do rich men who bust their butts at work wrongfully get taken to the cleaners by ex "golddiggers"?

How do you tell a father that his divorce is screwing up his son? A guy I know seems clueless that his recent divorce and remarriage is affecting his son. I talked with his ex-wife and the kid is about to go into counselling. He and his new wife act like everything is great and the kid is in pain. Personally I'd like to embarass him (and the new wife since I know they had a long time affair) and tell his employer and mutual friends. Okay knowing how important a father is to me, I'd like to bust him in the jaw. So the question is how do you say this so that he ponies up to his responsibility? Not to throw money and see the kid once a month.

Somebody please help me! My parents are going to get a divorce? I never thought i'd be the kid whose parents divorce like my friends & on TV but it's true......I just figured out. I want to cry so hard right now. I'm 17, and we used to do everything as a family, but seeing as it's working out, I'm CRUSHED. I don't know what to do...I just have mixed emotions right now. How can i get my mind off of this? I can't whatever i do. I don't feel like i can cope with it. HELP! I feel like busting into tears and i don't feel like ever hanging out with my friends or doing anything ever again. My life is crumbling. I just need someone to talk me thru it do/say whatever you can to help me. My mom who i love the most and has been in my heart since day 1 is leaving us.

Divorce ! Who gets what? A friend of mine needs advice,read this and give advice on what she should do.First off,they have been married for nearly 2 years.He is abusive.She never called the cops on him until the other day when he busted her lip,threw her down in result she busted her head.He went to jail/with a 15 day restraining order.She was forced to stop working by him.She relies on his income which is a retirement fund,about $4k a month.They just built a house for $250k.Just had it appraised and could sell 2day for $450k.She has the credit,he has the money.She primary on the loan,he is co-ap on the loan.They recently sign a deal for an additional 3 ac to their property worth an additional $200k.When he got out of jail he went to the bank and took all the money out,which is a joint account. In a "NutShell" what ground does she stand with this idiot of a husband?Should she proceed with a divorce and sue for allumony?Should she divorce and take it all,can she take it all?Let me know! State of Florida.

How is alimony calculated with fluxuating income? My salary tends to follow "boom & bust" cylces where I will make low to moderate wages for two to three years then high wages for two to three years, then repeat cycle. How is alimony calculated in such a situation? The last 12 or 24 months income before filing for divorce?

Can i save my marrige? My wife has decided we are done and wants a divorce we still live together but there is no intimacy she treats me indifferently or ignores me, i have tried to just carry on and to change all the things that bothered her before. i have used the 180 techniques doing totally different things instead of my usual response but she is in complete lock down and will not discuss anything with me. she says she is not interested in counseling at all and will not even consider it, i have no money to spare so the tempting marriage coaches i see online for $300 for 5 sessions are way out of reach i cannot even afford the divorce busting books. we still sleep in the same bed but in separate blankets she also keeps telling me she has not felt the same about me since our first son was born now aged 3 1/2 we have another boy on the way due in a few months i do not want to loose my kids they mean everything to me not to mention i love this woman with my entire being.

How do I Divorce an Immigrant Husband? My husband is from Korea. He cannot read or speak English and only has conditional permanent residency (conditional green card). I'm thinking we are going to separate for awhile and he'll go back to Korea. If during that separation, I want a divorce, how do I divorce him here in the States if he is over there? Obviously, he won't understand U.S divorce proceedings here since he can't read/understand English documents. Or is there a possible way to get this marriage annulled because he does drink too much and cause property damage (ex. he busted my mom's car window during a fight)? We have no kids, property, and have been married for a year and a half. Do I really need a lawyer?I can't afford one. We did marry in good faith. He did not marry me for a green card.. I know he won't stay in this country if we separate. He hates living in the U.S, which is one of the biggest reasons why we're separating because of his adjust issues. Please, no one give me marriage advice about trying to make this marriage work. It's not going to happen. In my mind...we are completely through and my only focus is to get him out of my life.

What do you think about this first paragraph? “Have you met her?” “No, of course not. Dad’s waiting until the rehearsal dinner to introduce her. He’s just doing it to get under Mom’s skin.” “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s doing it to show off in front of everyone we know.” “He’s trying to hijack the one day- the two days- when he isn’t the absolute dictator of the family. He’s always been like this, and now he’s having some kind of delayed reaction to the divorce, and some weird teenage rebellion thing coming about forty years late.” “Please, please, please don’t bust out the Freud. It’s four in the morning for Christ’s sake. I wish you’d take the time difference into account, Ginny.” “I’m sorry- I just thought you’d want to know that our father is running around with a woman young enough to be our sister, and that he’s planning on bringing her with him to my wedding, and allowing everyone we’ve ever known to ridicule him, in public, no less, and also to tell you that you need to get your shoes dyed sea-foam green, and that I’m picking you up at Logan at four-thirty tomorrow and I need the gate number.” “Seven.’ “What?” “The gate number. It’s seven.”

How do I explain to my 9 year old daughter that Grammy is an embezzler, a liar, and is divorcing Grandpa? Grammy just got busted by the FBI for embezzlement for $160,000.00 that's admitted. Now she wants a divorce from Grandpa, but still wants to be with him {so she can make him pay the 160k back}. Grammy is an animal lover, talks to all the neighbors, and is very family oriented. Turns out, she's a liar, a thief, and a manipulator. I personally never liked her, or trusted her, and it was mutual. Call it mother-in-law syndrome, but I had a gut feeling. It also turns out, she had a life insurance policy on Gramps he didn't know about, wanted to buy a house in Florida, and had her illegit daughter on the payroll of the company in Michigan while the daughter was in Florida. And for the past 2 months, Gramps was getting pressure to put Gramma's name on EVERYTHING Gramps had his name on. Gramma is obviously evil, but now I need to tell my daughter something.

If you are divorcing and are dating someone (not the reason for the divorce) until the court date,? does the no good asshole I'm divorcing have the right to give me a hard time? I know it's not good, but can he bust my ass legally? the marriage has been over for at least 7 years, but you the old saying, something like, you don't want it, but you don't want anyone else to have it either?

help dealing with divorce? my dad has been cheatingo n my mom and we caught him and all i wont get too much into details but yesterday he told us he was at work but we called his job andt hey said he didnt work his shift so we drove to the house of the girl my dad is having an affair with and tracked the gps on his phone and he was in teh corner room and he avoided our phone calls and knocking on the door, my mo mhad an anxiety attack when my dada showed up at 1am and everything and my dada left and my mom burned all his clothes and busted everythign of his with a hammer so he had nothing but the clothes on his back and my dada just left and didnt say bye to us, we were mad at him tho (me my mom and sister), we go to counseling but how can i deal with the divorce and not seeingm y dad seeing me graduate or prom cuz now we dont have any contact with him, the other lady butters him up to be with her and not us, so i lost my father and cant talk to him, how can i deal with this? im 16 by the way and the other lady made a deal with my dad, if my dad left his family then he wonth ave to pay the bills at the other ladys house and my dad is in debt already so he felt that wasgod not worrying about money until now when he pays child support for 2 kids and any money they make my family gets half...im worried cuz im mad at him but if i regret not speaking to him later i wont have contact, i lost him for good, i dont even know if he made it back safe to the other ladys house...i dont think he loves his family no more, he didnt say bye, didnt pick up our phone calls when we called his cell because he was sleeping with her so yea...and im 16 and need a job because now my mom is stuck with SO many bills and ive applied at 17 places and i have ONE more place i can think of, ive been job searching for 6 months now and no luck, no interviews, NOTHING, no one hires me or calls me =/ i really need money to help my mom out because her and my sister have jobs but not enough money. =(

my rights were terminated last august and i need some advice!? how can i get my rights reinstated? I've been going through all my court papers and have found some disturbing things in them! I also have tape recordings from family therapy that also contradict alot! Im desprate to find out any information! My rights were terminated for testing positive for marijuana yet my daughters father also had come up positive for the same thing during our divorce proceedings. He also was busted back in 1997 for selling pot out of his dormatory at central university! How is this possible that he can have rights and i cant!!! Please HELP!!!

should i file for divorce or not? i am so confused, and hurt. okay i've been married for two years almost, i love my husband, and i believe he loves me. there have been a few occasions where he'll get into a blind rage and he'll hurt me. once he busted my ear drum, but that was the worst of it and that happend two years ago. it would randomly happen every so often, a couple months then it stopped for about a year, then last saturday we got into an arguement and i got socked in the back of the head a couple of times. well he does his song and dance routine, where he swears he isn't ever going to do it again, i told him already last time, that if he ever did it again, that i would leave him, and i don't. i told him i don't want to be a statistic, i don't want this to happen anymore, blah blah blah, he always says the same thing, should i just leave it up to stress, or should i file for a divorce? or is it just random occurence, thank you all for your answers, i needed to hear it bluntly. but it's easier said then done. i can't explain, he doesn't cut me off from friends and family, he doesn't tell me how to dress, he doesn't control the money, i have freedom he isn't really bad, but he does have anger issues, and i will approach him about that, and see if he will go to anger management, hell i'll even go w/ him, and to a marriage counselor. thank you again, i really appreciate it.

My wife blames me for her cheating ways - says its all my fault - is this true? Hi everyeone. Let me explain: My EX wanted to go to the bar 2 or 3 times per week. I said Ok, life's short, enjoy it, too bad I'm so overloaded with work, I'd love to come with you also. She told me that I should date other women. I said NO! She said it was ok with her if I had sex once with a lady but not to keep seeing her or it would be a relationship. I said I wasn't interested, but said "likewise" and gave her a box of condoms just in case she got hit on, I didn't want to catch anything. And not to get into a relationship with any guy or it would be over between her and me. Then I found out that she had been in a relationship (with sex) for over a year, and I demanded she stop seeing him or I'd bust his arms. She demanded a divorce. I filed for divorce and now she says its all my fault for giving her the go-ahead. I never did. I clearly explained that I loved her and I did not want her to miss all the good things in life. But no relationships! Was it my fault that she strayed?

I caught my husband cheating via emails, but he denies it. I want a divorce what do I do? I know the girl, he's busted, but STILL denies it. I want to leave, btu worry becasue I have kids. Its not jsut the 'cheating' but he's Italian & for 10 years I've lived with a belitting, demeaning, degrading man. He's a good man (yes I can still say it) but no one sees his bad side but me. He's never physically violent, just verablly. I've had it & want to move on. there's no changing him and the affair is just the straw that broke the camel's back. Problem is I have two boys, 6 & 7, and I am terrified that he will turn them against me and a divorce will effect them in thier own relationships in the future. Any ideas????? The stress is causing me anxitey and chest pains (yes, I've been to the docotors!) This is nuts and I'm only 36!

Why is it that Congress is backing down on their promise to the troops to bring them home? My husband is currently serving in the war and has as of last been extended another 3 months. We were just married and I am upset that George Bush see nothing wrong with tearing families apart. If his two daughters were fighting and dying then I am sure he would have a heart then. This mess has created a large divorce rate, large suicide rates, single parent homes because of death to one parent in the war, etc. When does it end? I ask Congress to not back down and break to George Bust the bully, because to me that is what he is a bully.

Is it hard for a divorce? Tonight was the last and final straw my husband comes into my house around 1:30 am asking where some pliers at, I tell him that he left them in the car which the car had been towed somewhere, so he wanna argue about that and some other bull. I walked away and he said don't walk away from me cause i'll bust you in your head. Knowing that he hit me before and choked me before, I didn't take any chances I called the police to have him escorted out of my home. He took the dress and coat he brought me back. He said he will have the divorce papers in the mail. Should I wait for the divorce papers to come in the mail? Or should I try to talk to a lawyer Monday morning and see what my rights are. I have proof that he has been abusive and I have proof that he committed adultery because they had a child together while we are married. I do everything for the kids, I watch them, we in a stable home, I am about to start college, I don't drink or do any drugs or smoke. I going to look for job. We have been separated before and he has been acting okay until these past few days he started acting like his old self again and I didn't want to take any chances this time. I think he bluffing to because he said it before and the papers never came but I will be doing that because I am tired of being stressed and tired of thinking will he do this or do that. I will also be looking into some therapy. I know this going to take some time but I am so scared right now. Hopefully he want be back anymore and I'm not letting him back. My kids don't need to be scared and I don't need to be scared either. The house we live in is mines his name not on the lease I had to call the police to escort him out of here I'll go get a restrain order put on him, talk to someone that can help me and kind of guide me into never going back to him no matter what he says cause I know he mad for me calling the police and he probably try to say something nice then it be all over When I say I am in a stable home, I mean the place I live in doesn't have his name on the lease, and I could get him on a new trespassing list out here. I know it wasn't about the pliers thats why I was walking away instead of sitting there arguing. As for why I have stayed married to him for this long is because I really thought he was going to change, and he bragged to the police that he hit me twice before and that he didn't mean it last night. T he policemen said they all say that and told me I need to go ahead file for divorce. Thanks for everybody answers, everybody's answers are good.

My husband and I got married when I was 20 its been 2 and a half years but I am starting to hate him? we have been together at first it was great .. but now I have a baby and he expects me to do everything he doesnt even take out the trash.. he gets mad over the smallest things... has told me I am worthless, called me a coniving hoe.. and once when I came home late asked me if I busted a nut!!! I want to divorce him... but I will have to start from scratch with my daughter and I have this felony... I havent worked in a 1 1/2 years ... can someone give me advice on how to just get rid of him... the only thing is he gives me money and that is what is keepin me what should I do

Freezing pipes....only answer if you really know? When the temperature is very low (-12), how do you keep your pipes from freezing and busting? do you drip cold water, hot water, or both? yesterday i dripped only cold and the hot water froze (apparently not much because after i opened cabinets and cranked up the heater a little they were running this morning). I am newly divorced and cannot afford to replace all the pipes under my house if they bust. I NEED HELP!!!!

Vegas marriage...California divorce.? If I married in Vegas, NV and want to get a divorce in the state of California, which rules apply to my case? The NV, or CA rules? I busted a Britney Spears and married in Vegas, but live in CA, and I'm thinking of getting divorced after 3 years of marriage. Don't wonder why I'm thinking about the divorce, just let me know which rules apply to my case. Thanks in advance to all.

How can a woman fall for a guy with no job, no vehicle!? I am curious. I have 2 young children and been divorced for 1 and a half years. 1 month after our divorce was final, my ex met a guy who just got busted on 5 counts of drug charges and a weapons charge. It will be a year next month that they have been dating. He has never had a job, nor a vehicle and lived from sisters house to moma's house off and on. He has recently shacked up with my ex and my 2 young children. When we were married we lived very, very comfortable. What is it, and why do u see so many women doing this! Just for the record, we divorced because i worked for her family and lived next door. Her family was too much into our business and she allowed it. I'm sure there a few of ya'll in here that knows where i am coming from..

Who SHOULD get the ring??? You basically know your relationship is over when during a 2 week split, your fiance tries to supposedly play head games with his ex to finally end their divorce, but gets busted by you when "the ex" calls you and lets you know that he has been spending time with her and they are trying to work it out while you to are hanging out together. Since then my trust in him is gone and we both know the relationship is done, financial reasons still has us living together though, but not for much longer...Now I havent caught him PHYSICALLY with her, but when she called, he was right next to me and admitted "pretending to get on good terms with her to get their divorce final, cause she has been dragging it and not coming to an agreement". He admitted that it was "probably wrong" to do that to me but that " well we were split". So anyway, its kinda mutual hes tired of me complaining about his ex always tryin to get him back, and Im tired of her in his life, my life. So who should keep the ring? Its not a big deal, and I actually dont want it, but Im just really curious on after what he did, why would he want it?

Divorce because of Mary Jane? If a spouse is on marijuana, and the other spouse does not feel comfortable with that, should they divorce? He promised her he would stop, but went back to it years later. She is concerned that it is ruining his health and he's becoming psychologically depend on the substance. She's also concerned that one day the cops may surprise him and bust him at the house. If it was legalized she wouldn't feel so much anxiety about the whole thing. what's your thoughts?

Can dating a married man while going thru a divorce & custody..affect the child custody if proven? A friend is going through a divorce & custody situation. She is young and she left her husband because he busted her seeing another man and just didn't want to deal with the consequences. The husband joined the military & started seeing another girl..so since they weren't divorced I figured they kinda equaled each other out & the "affairs" really couldn't be an issue because they were both seeing someone. However my friend is now on her 4th relationship since seperating last Sept..and they are all with men either married or involved with someone. I am worried about this recent married man she is sleeping with because they work together & rumurs have already been flying..she admitted it to me. I just have afeeling this is going to get nasty and I scared for her that it will affect her divorce as well as the custody arrangements..right now she is the primary caregiver...but the Dad has said he will be fighting for more custody when he gets back from his military training. I have told her to be careful that this could affect her ...she says it won't because she is the mother and they will see her husband dating another girl (she is not married & they live seperately) ..just as bad..but I say that if the courts find out tthat she is dating a married man @ her job..things may not go her way & it will be worse for her?? Plus if she is caught they will both loose their jobs. Who is right? Can it hurt her more than she thinks in a child custody case??

How long could he go to jail for? (child abuse, first time offender)? My ex abused my children and myself and was stupid enough to admit it on the stand during my divorce trial...in detail. So, they've got him from brusing and busting the lips of out kids, both under 5. How long will he go to jail? Call me vengeful, but I hope it's forever. :P If only!!

Why would Newt tell his wife, while she was in the hospital dying of cancer, that he wanted a divorce so...? that he could marry his assistant who was 20 years younger than him? (And this all happened while he was in the middle of trying to destroy Bill Clinton who he busted for having an affair with his assistant who was 20 years younger than Clinton)

should we get a divorce? I lost my trust in my wife, nothing too major, just chatting with her ex's, flirting, lying every now and then... I bust her every single time, she swears up and down she loves me, she doesn't want to be with them, she just does it for attention, she feels bad for them, excuses, excuses, 1-2 months goes by and I bust her again, this week I busted her sending pics of her boobs to one of them. I read their chat on aim it was sickening, not like lovers but he was begging her for pics and she was playing hard to get, she didn’t say I love u or I want to be with u or anything, it was just dirty talk and sh*t... pretty immature... but im fed up with this sh*t, I cant take it anymore, I’m turning into a psycho, checking her email and computer looking for sh*t! And I find sh*t! And I confront and we fight and she cries and apologizes, and swears that’s the end of it. So I keep looking more and I find more, I hate this feeling.. I love her but I feel like I should leave her and move on... the thing is we've been only married for 7 months! So what’s going to happen when we are 7 years in! We r both 24 so a part of me is like she's going to grow up, and she is preggo!! I don’t want to get a divorce before my baby is born, maybe the baby will change her, but also a part of me is like she'll never change, I feel like we'll both be 74 and she's going to be flashing her saggy boobs! Should I leave? Should I wait? Should I give another chance? I already gave 5 though! What about the baby? But what about me? I’m losing it! HELP!

ok guys shes nuts should i divorce her?#3? i married her 2 years ago and ever since shes wrecked 4 cars and calls her ex at 3 am and says she doesnt remember. she was put in a psych hospital after she busted into these total strangers house and told them to f33king get out and the police came and she told me to beat the uniformend police up because they were fake and didn't have real guns. two days after she gets out of hospital she gets arrested for calling her ex and threatening him. then she gets in her car at three in the morning and spins her tires until she becomes stuck in the mud she then comes to bed and then the next morning she asks me why did i let her do these things i know i married her for sickness and health but i think i should divorce her because she doesn't want to help herself by not keeping her appointments and taking her meds what do you guys think?

Mental Illness/schitzcophrena Brother 56 now in moms house living with her- Since wife is Divorce ing......? after 35 yrs,He would Not take his Meds then, We're having problems now! ( I am sister)got him involved in program that gives him activitys with others that have Disabilities 8-3pm which is good: But this was court/hospital ordered HE ONLY has to go 60 days& TAKE HIS MEDS!I had Him Committed-He hadn,t been taking meds the whole time We all thought He had been!I found this out When He started going to Wal-mart[to Buy Male-enhancer Products]-ordering dvd's & then was busted trying to Molest my Dog!Then I find out He had taken picture of HIS Self & Showed my Mom -So I comitted him.Me&DR.Now KNOW he's not taking Meds again!Me & I is ONE Who Has to Do it ALL.4 other bro's/sis's WONT HELP DO JACK!Have idea He Will be going Back to HospitL[Non Complient]Main concern is Health/Welfare of Mother#1.illness or not He Kno's right &wrong even if He was Drunk @ time events happen'd [don,t drink anymore]This illness is HELL (NAMI 's not Local for support) So THANK U YA internet~Thank U Valium-ZimA~ Alright gregg'y I am upset-can,t get much help f- trying to relieve stress at this moment here on Y/A Although you don,t know What I,m babbling about others in this Big world will be able to relate -maybe not completely ,others may just twidle thier lips ,then some may come thru & Help SOMEONE THEY know with a family member who Has mental problems as my brother/family/eye Have Thanx for your imput

Should I file for divorce? I have been married for about 10 years. My husband and I have 3 children. Here's the thing- He has always treated me really bad, the only reason I am still with him is because of my kids. I left him about 2 years ago and went to a shelter for abused women, the very first night there, my children were so upset that I spent the entire night trying to calm them down and dry their tears. My husband has never mistreated the children, only me. He is very controlling. He tells me what TV shows I can watch, what music I can listen to, and that is just part of it. He gets angry and starts an argument over ANYTHING. Like when the kids are misbehaving, he yells at me about it. He has threatened to bust my computer, because he thinks I spend too much time on it, but I am enrolled at an Online college, trying to earn my degree, so I have to spend time on it in order to get me work done. I know you all are probably thinking that I am a weakling or something to let him run over me... But in reality, it's easier just to let him push me around rather than fight him because he gets out of control, and I am afraid he may do something harmful. I also don't like to argue and fight in front of my children. It's not always bad though, sometimes we take the kids out and let them have a good time. It's just that I know I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life the way that I am now. But I want to do what is best for the kids, and they need their dad, I feel like I'm being selfish if I put what I want before them. I just want to be happy, but I also want my kids to be happy. I know in my heart I should leave him, or even find a way to make him leave. I do love him, but I don't love him the way a wife should love her husband..we don't have sex because I can't stand to let him touch me. And I know it's because I feel like he doesn't love me. I am just so scared of being on my own..I married him when I was 16, so I went straight from my mom's house to his..I need some encouragement..I need to KNOW that things will be okay if I leave.

Wife caught me cheating... Now wants a divorce .. What should I do/? So she caught me with my co worker that i've been cheating on her with for the last few months. This is what happen. I was having sex with my co worker. Because my suppose to be on business trip!!! Well she wasn't. She apparently was following me. Cause when she bust in. She said " Say cheese" and took a picture of us. And than she left. I never thought she even suspect me. As she never mention anything. Never got mad when I went out . No clues . Nothing at all. Well a few days later . She send me a copy of the picture, and the email that I sent to my co worker. And she even told me she knew about the pre paid phone that I got just for talking to my co worker. And she said that she wants a divorce. How do I convince her not to? I have a lot of assets. House, property, money. Is she tryting to take everything I got. Buy collecting evidence without saying a word??? Should I call my lawyer now? Or do you think there is still chance she well forgive me? Would I be screw if she divorce me?

Where would we be without the lives of celebrities to entertain us? I mean seriously, that's all the headlines in the news. Who's getting divorced, who's selling racy pics, who's getting busted for drunk driving this week. Classy stuff there, and some people actually care about it. I wonder why the life of some complete stranger makes it into our conversations. I don't believe a word of it anymore anyway...

Should I just get a divorce? My husband and I both cheated on each other while he was in Korea. We made amends and stayed together when he came back. I moved with him 750 miles away from my home. He smacked me in the face last night with a huge, "I love you but I'm not in love with you and I only have sex with you to bust a nut." Totally not what I expected him to say. I feel differently towards him and I am in love with him and I don't only have intercourse with him to "get off." He thought I did. He told me today that only time will tell if he'll ever feel differently about me loving wise and in the bedroom. Well, I don't have my whole life to wait around on a person whose not going to have the same feelings for me as I do for him. I just don't know how long to wait? Plus I love him so much, I don't even know if I could go through with a divorce or just be in a relationship where I'll not be happy for the rest of my life.

iam divorce,he is aguy, he loves me sooooooooo much but,he is not satisfied in some points.? he loves me, he is marring me next month. but both age is same. i have strch marks. tummy, sagging bust. how to satisfy him. plee

MATURE ANSWERS ONLY! should i divorce my scum husband? i was updating my eHarmony profile and was looking at profiles. well lo and behold...THERE WAS MY CHEATING LOW LIFE HUSBAND!! he actually has a profile on there! i am so upset...what nerve of him. i thought of making a fake profile and answering his and then bust him! what should i do????

Should I divorce my husband? My husband and I haven't had sex since August 05. We have been married for 2 years and 4 months. On several occassions I busted him for watching porn online, buying and hiding porn dvds, and looking at women on date sites. I asked him to go to counseling and he won't go. When I confronted him even more back in December he asked me "Why does sex have to be a part of a marriage?" I don't want to cheat on him but I don't know what else to do but file papers! HELP!

How do you save a marriage when there was cheating involve from both parties? I cheated on my hubby (once) before we got married 5 yrs ago, and yes i confess what I did before we said ''I Do'',then he recently cheated on me and got busted. I have filed for a divorce, but we believe that our marriage can be saved, but are at a lost where to began repairing the damage, when we have our families in our ears telling us that we're stupid to save it, because someone who cheats will always cheat??

i have been married for 7 months, and am getting a divorce. how do i prepare and such? my husband has done so much wrong...including going AWOL. he is actually in jail now. i dont work but am going to look for a job after i fix the car he busted some of the windows out. im just wondering, he is still making payments on the car and it is under HIS name, but since we are married should i fight for it? he has left me with so much sh** to deal with and im only 18 years old. im just ready to move on. would a divorce be better for me or how about an anullment? how do anullments work?

what can everyday citizens do to help police fight meth? IMy life was ruined by meth.I never did it but my husband did and it turned him into a monster. Now he is doing time thank God and were divorced but I see so many people on it some of them really young and I think I wish somebody would bust whoevers selling it.Sometimes I see people on it stick skinny,trembling,wigged out and I think are the police aware so many people are tweaking in public? Im sure they are but do they arrest them for being under the influence or what?Its scary.

Do you think McCain looks at the Pallin family and thinks , I am glad I lost? 1. Use your position to get your brother-in-law fired from his job while he's divorcing your sister. 2. Unwed teenage pregnancy under your own roof. 3. Sister-in-law busted for burglary. 4. Baby's paternal grandma arrested for possession 5. And now, baby mama drama aired in the media.

I have been through a bad marriage, I ran away for my safety, now its an ugly divorce? I know most divorces are not the prettyest. But I had to leave my marriage of 9 nine years for my own safety. I had to run away. I did not want to do it, but I had no choice. All my friends and family, helped me move and I can't thank them enough. They was happy to see me out of the bad marriage. He did some terrible stuff, and was psychologically mean, and looking at it later, seem to be mentally unstable. The things he had told me in my marriage, I had found out later to be lies through government offical sources, and had false documents to back his claims. So I now realise, the 9 years of my life was a lie. This doesn't bother me now,but it did when I found out, I am happy to be alive and enjoy life to the max. I live in hiding from the man. He costed me my awesome job I had by intimadating staff members at work. Now I have a low paying job, to survive. When I left him. I took the crappy furniture, the basics and my personal possession. I left him all the good furniture, new appliances etc, in good faith when a property settlement come through, he would be fair and reasonable about the whole thing. Basically I had to start over again. I also had a business which I had to fold as he would come into my place of trading and harass me, and other businesses around was getting worried for themselves. I had no choice. I have spoken to the police and they said a restraing order won't stopping from coming near you as it is only a piece of paper. I choose not to as I did not want to aggrivate this man anymore than necessary. When I left I took the major debt with me, and has been struggling to survive. He won't pay the half of the debt I took, only the mortgage on the home, which is cheaper than the rent I am paying. I can't afford to pay my half of the mortgage, otherwise. I will be bust. My new job doesn't pay well, and family and friends are helping me food and little bits to survive. He earns a good income, and has been hiding his money whilst we was in the marriage in his super annuation. He refuses to disclose his super details. Now I am facing a nasty divorce, it has been 9 months since I left, and he has been uncooperative since. He has refused to fully diclose his financial positions, and now wants to go to mediation finally. But I don't think this will be easy. I am not wanting everything only my half share. Do you have any thoughts on this to help. he does not want to be cooperative.

How to start again after a divorce? I am a very passionate, well read, well travelled middle aged man. I am in excellent physical shape and look younger than my years. Getting divorced two years ago, really broke my heart and I guess I am afraid and don't even know how to go out and start that spark again. Women tell me I am attractive, and they all want to be my friend. How do I go about and "Bust a move" or simply take it to the next level. After two years, I am so ready for a long term healthy loving relationship. -Darrell inspiredandglowing@yahoo.com

Is it Time for a Divorce? My wife and I have been together for just over 5 years now, almost 3 of them we have been married. She has 2 wonderful twin boys whom I love very much, they call me Daddy, the whole nine yards. I treat them like they were my own. I think I love her but I know I'm not in love with her. Lately we have nothing to talk about to each other. I come home and she is usually on the phone or watching TV, the house is a huge mess and nothing has been done. Yes I understand she works "part time" but its only 5-6 hours a day while I'm working 12-15 hours a day to pay for HER car and HER past due credit cards, none of this stuff is mine, she brought it into the marriage. Its like she expects me to bust my butt so she doesn't have to. I feel cheated on the deal. I make close to $1200 every 2 weeks and she makes $100-$110 a week. Not much. When it comes to sex I have no desire to do anything with her at all. We go to bed and the fire is out. What should I do? I talked to her and nothing worked.

Help for a man going thru a terrible adversarial divorce? My friend got hrt on the job, to the point of where he was almost paralyzed. His wife has become very shrewish and its a very sad long story, They have a 5 year old son and, my friend has no money for an attorney , the shrewish wife has a small trust and so has gotten an attorney. My friend has no support system ( i live several states away myself) and he needs help.He CANNOT afford a lawyer. Legal aid and all that have been a bust, he is in debt and living on his disability from work. He was talking about suicide as the wife is a control freak and going to make sure he never sees the kid except ON HER TERMS (she is not a well woman has some OCD and control issues BIG TIME it seems like ) My friend bought them homes and supported them by driving a truck and she is going to charge that he was never home, but he was supporting them. he never fooled around. they live in Texas. we have searched the internet for support groups and legal help to no avai The woman badmouths my firend to the little 5 year old son, has said Daddy never bought you your toys that she did,, but of course my friend was on the road and the wife got the PAYCHECK to take the boy to buy toys. its breking my heart and I am worried, my friend is a good guy and needs some serious help all he wants is fair divorce so he can see his son and have a healthy relationship with the boy but the wife is not letting that happen she seens to need to destroy my friend. she was very belittleing of my friend in front of the child and even my friends family that went to Texas to visit him. emotionally involved?, my friend is suffering and I an trying to help as much as I can by finding resources. you are an idiot

so my parents are getting a divorce...please help? i'm really freaked out to say the least. i love my parents so much, and i support my mom because she doesn't want to be in the situation she's in, my dad's controlling and selfish, he won't even let her have a credit card, but i love him SO much, today in choir we were singing and i busted out crying because i was thinking about it, i'm taking this really really hard. my mom told me about it about 6 months ago and i was okay with it then. but now she's starting to talk to a lawyer and get an apartment and it's terrifying me. i know she needs to be on her own to be happy, but i can't stand the thought of being away from my dad. i'm just so scared, she has a plan to leave next week and i'm i can't see him for almost a month. what can i do to take my mind off of this?

What does a 23 year old mom of two wear? Ok, a little background. I'm 23, 5'4" 100lbs, size 2, with no bust (34 A if you must know, heh). I have two small boys (19 months and 5 months) I'm divorced (recently) and the last time I went clothes shopping was back in 2003. I'm in great shape, not entirely "ripped" but toned (lots of gym time) I guess I'm a "goth rocker", blacks paired with bright single colors. I'm pale, w/ green eyes, and dark auburn hair, and I bartend.... So, my question, what do I wear? Where can I find clothes in my size? Every store I go to (Wal-mart for instance) I swim in their "size 2's" and am forced to go to the little girl sections and try to find something in a 16-14 that doesn't make a pedophiles dream. I want to keep my "goth rocker" style, but more tempered down, not so in your face. I'm a mum now, gotta blend in a little more. So, yeah, any help you can offer I'd appreiciate.

we have been in seperate bedrooms for 10 months now-the divorce is in going due to posssible sinkhole -help? the last three years have been awful-the first two years he faked having cancer to those at work--then quit his job and had no income for nine months this year he claimed voices and bugs were after him and the tv was watching him.he returned to work a few months ago-so i had said how do you think your boss would like to know that you faked having cancer -that you went to a psychiatrist whodx you as psychotic/psychpathic-he threatens if you do i'll qiut my job and you wont get any child support for ouur sevenyear aspergers child-and that if i claimed that he has a small lawn cutting business hed sell it just so he didbt have to pay-now mind you he works for the state.Yea both names are on the note-but his crap is just to nuch to stomach-i wouldnt dream of putting another person throughsimilar activites-he steals from me and our son-he lies habitually-i know icould leave but in paying rent elsewhere and being obligated to pay half the rent here i d be busted-im on s.s.d. so it counts

What Plot line that never happened would you have like to see on Happy Days? Imagine, Ralph as president? Mr. C and Mrs C get divorced? Ritchie gets busted for pot? Use your imagination!

Things that will never happen: Colin Delaney defeats HHH at Wrestlemania. What are yours? Here are others.... -HHH will divorce Stephanie. -Vince will let Macho man into the WWE Hall of Fame. -The Rock will wrestle again(Ok, maybe this will happen). -John Cena will be busted for steroids, or at least WWE will make note of it on WWE.com -Shelton will get the push that he deserves.

How to get my mind off of him and ways to make me feel better and not so used and lonely? well im finally leaving my husband after two years. the past year is when it went all down hill. he started doing crank and we lost everything and had to move in with my mom. He would ditch me for crank, he blacked my eye. well i left him and got back with him. found out i was pregnant and he stressed me out so bad i miscarried. he stopped doing the crank for awhile and started it back up so i left him again. this time it was over. he stole my car and busted my lip. I got a protective order and filed for a divorce. Well my luck I found out i was pregnant again. well i took him back again because of the situation. everything was fine for a couple of months, then he started going to the bars and not coming home until the 2-3. he wrecked my car. well he went to court for the last time he hit me. he got put on probation and couldnt come home tell it was dropped. well i got it dropped and he was supposed to come home, i find out that he did crank all weekend and a women was with him Well he kept tellin me he loved me, he missed me and couldnt wait to go home. I got him an awesome x-mas present. the only time he would see me was to get sex and got money from me. he was the one who wanted me to get pregnant and of course i did it for him. Ive always done everything for him. I just want to know what i can do to make myself feel good. I feel so stupid for believing him, i feel like a fool. Im scared of having this baby alone. Any advice. please. i cant stand crying and feeling sorry for myself when i need to start preparing for my baby boy.

Why do people down me for being a single mom? I am a single mom of two boys. I work all the time and bust my but to take care of them. I do everything to get them what they need and sometimes what they want. I am geting a divorce and I am trying to get there dad to pay child support. I get put down for this. I did not make the child by my self and should not have to take care of them by my self. I do not do drugs and only drink on specal events. I did not give my kids up and never wanted to. So why do people look down on me. I was not the reason me and my husband is geting a divorce so what is wrong with me? I do what needs to be done for my kids, so am I so bad? I do not seal drugs or my self to take care of them so am I the wrong one? I do not depend on any one and they look at me like I am stuped and can not do anything.

Can my ex wife use the maintenance for my kids to pay her credit card bills? I bought a bus because I have 2 kids aged 2 and 4. She has a daughter aged 17. Her mother died last year of cancer as did my stepfather (within a week of each other) and I like to try to take us all out to do things together (she says the weekends are her time and doesn't go). I have a demanding job which involves some travel. I am not a saint and I have been with my wife (yet to divorce) on and off for 17 years. I really just want to ensure that when I pick my kids up they live in a warm house, have matching socks, get their hair cut by someone qualified and generally get looked after. My ex does a great job as a mother in general but i do object to re-mortgaging my own flat to pay for her lifestyle. I pay for cable, broadband, tv's etc and she spends everything. Can I stop her legally in the UK from wasting the money without getting her busted by the authorities or wating money for the kids on lawyers?

My friends keep cheating on their husbands!? Ok... so I guess my friends all turned into hoochies. They been cheating... and getting busted... divorces all over the place... My husband - I can tell - is starting to think maybe I would partake in such things since these are the women I hang with. These are girls I have known for 3 or 4 times longer than him. I dunno why they are doing what they are doing - but I have no desire to go tramping around... He makes comments like "Oh - you want to hang out with the whore again huh?" - and "Why are all your friends sluts?" Should I cut them off and end up friendless? It's not like I can go out and make new friends(I dont Wanna! wahhh) over-night. Me and these girls been through a lot together... since high school... even middle school. This is going to make me nuts... I have this one girl I think is "cracking up" practically - He husband is working over-seas and won't contact her for weeks... and she is depressed... and a nice guy came along. It sounds bad, but I kinda see where she is coming from. She thinks her husband is with another woman abroad... / Then the other one... Her husband is horrible to her but she fels she can't leave unless she has someone to "go to" so the poor girl is looking for a new man while she still married because she would rather be married to jerk-head than be single. Yah - I know she has a little co-dependancy issue there - she should just leave - I told her over and over... but the can't bring herself to. Agh! It's like... I can see myself totally doing the same thing if I was in their shoes - but I am NOT - my husband is with me and is nice . Bleh....

On SIms Bustin Out PS2....? 2 questions how do you get "do you want to have have a baby" pop up tell me the steps and if you are all ready married how do you divorce because now im gonna marry peter tell me all the steps answers both questions for sims busting out ps2

Does anyone know how much getting all your teeth removed and having permanent dentures put in is? I have grown up very poor, and therefore haven't been able to afford very much dental care. After having 3 kids and a messy divorce, not much financial has improved, my ex ruined my credit too. My teeth are basically rotting right out of my mouth and pieces are busting off all the time. Abscesses are very common, so much so, that any money that would go to a monthly payment to a dentist is spent on a doctor's visit ($200) to get the prescription for Penicillin ($10). We make barely too much for Medicare and not enough to afford private insurance. My fiancee's job doesn't provide medical insurance. I've heard that there are dentures that are similar to implants in that you can still eat, but cost way less. What to do? We live in Washington State.

RE: Governor Spitzer, wonder if Charlie Sheen has called him yet? Actually tho, his wife looks awful, could she divorce him and end up with anything given the power of that family? Wouldn't you want to be his kid? I guess my question really is how does the FBI or whoever is busting his chops prioritize 'sins' vs 'crimes' The fact that many people including those in polictical offices were involved in the illegal housekeeper/babysitter trade and not paying taxes. This is a crime yet no one that I know of went to jail. Former President Clinton case in point. At least this guy didn't do it in the oval office. So if prostitution is a crime why aren't they rounding up all the gals walking the streets and their JOHNS. This reeks of head hunting. They were looking for him to screw up-pun intended. Wonder, tho, how his daddy feels right about now? Personally, I always said whenever my kids achieved something that I don't take credit because if they ever do anything wrong I don't want to take the blame. Thoughts from intelligent thinking people would be ok.

Your opinion on epidurals?? a friend of mine had her fourth child on tuesday (she was induced with pitocin). i went in with her to have it. they have already told her that this baby was getting pretty close to ten pounds. she decided to have an epidural, and so she got one. her husband shows up at ten am (we'd been there since 5 am), and bursts in the room yelling and screaming and cussing her because she'd gotten an epidural. he actually ran at her bed and punched the pillow that her head was laying on, while this poor woman was in labor!! the jerk even told her that he was going to pack up his stuff and leave their other three kids, ages 6,5 & 3 home alone and that he was going to divorce her because she'd had an epidural!!! the nurse, fortuneatly, was in the room when he came busting in. by the time the nurse got him out of the room, they had had to put my friend on oxygen because the baby's heart rate had dropped. they kicked him out of the hospital, and when he called later to "apologize" you could hear him beating one of the kids because he wanted to talk to his mother!! he even threatened to come up to the hospital and beat up the doctor & nurse (both females). so who else thinks that jerk should get into serious trouble??? i still do not understand how an epidural is against the baptist faith. (he is a baptist preacher) i know that when i had my daughter, i had an epidural but it did not work. the jerk even accused me of "forcing" her to have an epidural, or that the doctor forced her to do it. i know that with the first three he made her go in alone to have the baby and would not let her have any pain medication (all her babies are nine pounds and up, this baby weighed 9lbs 11oz). with the 3rd baby, the jerk actually assaulted the doctor for giving her staidol!!

Why should I bother? I amso tired of paying my own way through school. I work full time....I go to school full time and I am married with a 6 year old. Should I do like other people in our country and get a divorce (so I am a single mom...this would only be on paper of course...we would still live together)...get on welfare...get my foodies...and HUD...and go to school for free?? It would be so much easier. Besides...I am tired of busting my butt and paying taxes to pay for others education. So, why should I bother carrying this course load and working at the same time. Hasn't mooching off the government become the American way? Oh and I make too much to even think about getting financial aid...

My 17 yr old sister accused my husband of showing himself to her...? My 17 yr old sister accused my husband of showing himself to her, she says he never touched her or himself or never made any advances. She says that every time he took her to work he had his pants zipped down so she could see his penis. There was an incident where he had boxers on and clipping his toe nail and she seen he privates, she told me immediately and let him know she seen him and he apologized to her. This supposedly happened months ago and she has been coming over to my house all this time. Why did she told about the other incident and was scared to tell me this, now months later when I made her mad at me over things I said about her boyfriend she decides to tell me. She told my mom and dad, they continued to let her stay over night at my house. My husband says it is not true, and we have setup for him to take a lie detector test. She tells me it is no big deal and not to get a divorce over it. My heart is broken, never have I busted him in a lie but I have her. My husband is willing to take the test and I also wanted her too. She first told me no..then said she would if he was not around. She is a high attention teenager/drama queen, she will not give me details on any of this, she actually very nasty to me about the whole issue.The story has changed a couple of times from saying he did to every time she rode in the car w/him to sometimes. He actually was in the bathroom in his boxers sitting on the toilet cutting his toe nails and I was at home. My dad does not think she is telling the truth, I wish I just knew for certain...this has killed me..I am dead inside

anyone remember this TV show, on a few years ago....? All i remember is that it was about a group of adults, some were married, some were not. Two of the married ones were having an affair and when they were on their way to have a tryst, they were in a car accident, thus, busted. There was also another couple who were getting a divorce but had started the process of adoption. When the wife found out that there was a baby waiting for them in china, she decided to adopt the baby by herself and invited along one of the other wives. Anyone remember it???????????????????????? Definitely NOT 30something, a lot more recent than that. Italy is on the right track, i think someone did win the lottery

anyone remember this TV show, on a few years ago....? All i remember is that it was about a group of adults, some were married, some were not. Two of the married ones were having an affair and when they were on their way to have a tryst, they were in a car accident, thus, busted. There was also another couple who were getting a divorce but had started the process of adoption. When the wife found out that there was a baby waiting for them in china, she decided to adopt the baby by herself and invited along one of the other wives. Anyone remember it????????????????????????

What is the best way to deal with a 10yr old girl who just pushes every button? Defies me and has no respect?? My daughter is just talking back, being defient, not listening, excuse after excuse. She is a child of divorce and a step-daughter now. She was only 2 when the divorce happened and I did everything I could to keep her life normal. We bust our asses providing for this child, allowing her to do all sorts of activites that we never had growing up. She pushes my buttons to the point of me going crazy on her. I do not physically hurt her but I get so angry that I find myself saying things to her like " I am going to put her head through the wall" or I am going to beat your ass". I will grab her arm and squeeze it until she just stops talking... It scares me alot because I can see myself in my head just beating her.... She makes me crazy lately and I am at the end of my rope. I threaten her with sending her to her Bio-fathers house if she keeps it up because I cannot live like this anylonger but my heart would break if I did that...I am so frustrated and stuck...I need advice & help.

Lmao, do you think this is a funny story? I live in PA. My dad's a lawyer, and does some divorce stuff. A client he had a couple years ago recently got busted for some huge 10 year drug selling ring in our area. So that basically means that my dad was probably paid with drug money, haha. My back to school clothes were paid with pot money. Hahahaha. that's something i never thought i'd say. Alright, don't hate me 'cause you ain't me. Jealoussss. =]

Added details to previous question about child support.....? Below is my previous questions....let me just say my wife and I had been married for 16 years and we have a 12 year old son.I have tried to make it work out but I have busted her cheating on me several several times.This is why I am divorcing,I am not some young chump who just left his family. Two other questions I have: Is the child support the only thing I give or if my son needs something do I still give that?Or should the $165 take care of everything? I just filed for divorce 2 weeks ago and the lawyer called me yesterday to let me know I had to pay $165 a week for one child. I about fell outta my seat....$660 a month!!!!! I make a yearly salary of $44,000.I know a guy that only pays $450 for two kids but I don't know how much he makes, I know he works for the state.But the lawyer told me the laws on child support has changed.Did the laws change? Does this sound accurate?Why so much?It's gonna be hard for me to pay my own bills plus drive 200 miles to get him every other weekend!

Added details to previous question about child support.....? Below is my previous questions....let me just say my wife and I had been married for 16 years and we have a 12 year old son.I have tried to make it work out but I have busted her cheating on me several several times.This is why I am divorcing,I am not some young chump who just left his family. Two other questions I have: Is the child support the only thing I give or if my son needs something do I still give that?Or should the $165 take care of everything? I just filed for divorce 2 weeks ago and the lawyer called me yesterday to let me know I had to pay $165 a week for one child. I about fell outta my seat....$660 a month!!!!! I make a yearly salary of $44,000.I know a guy that only pays $450 for two kids but I don't know how much he makes, I know he works for the state.But the lawyer told me the laws on child support has changed.Did the laws change? Does this sound accurate?Why so much?It's gonna be hard for me to pay my own bills plus drive 200 miles to get him every other weekend!

Do you think my friend is a bad mother? This woman I know has three kids. She is divorced and is living with a guy that she claims she loves. They are not married. Her three kids and step son were taken away from them 3 years ago when she and her husband were busted for drugs. Two years ago she sees them again. When she and her husband got a divorce she kind of quit talking to her step son. Her two girls are white and only date hispanics and she cannot stand that. Her 17 year old son lives with a girl he goes to school with. She has tree grandchildren only one is white. She claims that you love your first gandchild more than the others. I think it is because he is white and the others are mixed. She is always talking about the white one. It makes me so mad. She'll tell the kids she is going to go see them then her live in and her decide to go do something else. Does anyone know someone that is like this. I feel so bad for her kids. To have to grow up like this. I wish she would put her kids first. she also says that when you divorce that you don't talk to your ex's family, That its ok for her guy to talk to his ex, but he would flip out if she talked to hers.

Is marriage based on trust and commitment only then? OK so help me wrap my brain around this concept of marriage. So if marriage isn't about sex but about "trust and commitment" then lets look at a few scenarios. Scenario 1: I say to my woman, "Of course I won't by that car honey. It costs too much." But then the next day I come home with the car and she is pizzed. Did I betray her trust and thefore this warrants a divorce? Scenario 2 I say to my woman, "Is it cool if i bone another chick tonight? I'm just trying to bust a nut and I know you don't feel well." And she agrees. In this situation, I did not break her trust so this is OK? So scenario 1 didn't involve sex, yet we need to divorce because I "betrayed" her. Scenario 2 involves sex but she was in agreement so this was not cheating and therfore not grounds for divorce. Im so confused here. Apparently you can sleep with other chicks during marriage as long as she agrees with it. But if you lie to her about stuff this is when you are screwed.

What is a good friend? A good friend of mine that I've known for over 20 yrs is currently engaging in an extra-marital affair. I recently found out that she has been telling her husband that she's with me when she is actually with the guy she's cheating with. Her husband has no idea that she is cheating... but what he does know because what my friend has been telling him that she's always with me and now he hates me (I'm newly single and going through a divorce) he feels that I'm influencing her when actually I have had no part in what she's been up to! She won't tell him the truth... so now I'm the bad guy and can't even call or come over to her house anymore because he thinks that I'm pulling her away from the the family when it because she's been cheating on him for over a year. Way before my divorce. Would a good friend really do this? If she was truly my friend would she tell her husband that she was with me on a consistent basis when she is not of which has made me look bad? Should I bust her out?

Help! My partner is stuck in a joint business? and the business went bust. They went bust 22 years ago but They are still paying (well she is) off the debt. Her ex wont pay any money back and is drinking heavily. It was his business but she was a partner. Is there any way she could make him pay or get out of the rest of the payments? She wants a divorce, will that help? She is getting very depressed at not having any money but he has lots?

Collection of jokes? Collection of jokes There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said , "If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?" A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple whom also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35, " was the reply. "I'm actually 47, " the man says happily. A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?" "Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47, " Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's". A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me." A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away, " sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. "It doesn't work!" she yelled. "What do you mean?" asked Mom. "Well, " sniffed the little girl, "I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider." A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver. John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to' Bring this note to your beautiful Mummy.' The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to 'Bring this to your silly Daddy.' The note read: Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today. John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to 'The lady in the kitchen'. The note read: The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to 'Take this to the poor man upstairs'. The note read: I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land. But I'm Busy Right Now, So Do It By Hand! Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!" There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw. Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw." The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming." A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents." "That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?" Said the woman: "All of them, of course!" Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES" The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it, "He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." Doctor, the embarrassed man said, 'I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.' 'Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.' So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, 'Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Thomas.' The woman obliged and removed her clothing. 'Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on.' While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. 'You're in perfect health,' he said to the man. 'Your wife didn't give me an erection either.' Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, 'Sure.' About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. They all laugh. The guy says, 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.' So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. Jack gets all excited and says, 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?' The hit man replies, 'Sure.' So Jack looks and says, 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife. Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked too!' This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would be for a hit. The hitman replies, 'I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger.' Jack responds, '$1000? Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife.' The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope. He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack starts to get really impatient and asks, 'What are you waiting for? The hitman replies, 'Relax..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!' A little boy goes up to his father and asks: 'Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?' The father replies: 'Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000.' The boy goes and asks his mother: 'Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?' The mother replies: 'Hell yes I would!' The little boy returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father then says: 'Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000.' The boy asks his sister: 'Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?' The sister replies: 'Hell yes I would!' He returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father answers: 'Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores.' A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?" "What! Are you crazy!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, " he ensures his girlfriend. "No! Someone might see us..." "It's just a small blowjob, " he insists, "and I know you like it." "No! I said no!" "Baby... don't be like that." "Come on baby pleeeeaassseee" "I'm not going to give you a blow job" "Why Not...baby it will be quick I promise?" Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom." Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, 'What's that Mommy? 'A little embarrassed, she tells him that is her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Some time later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower shortly after she has shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy asks her, 'Where is your sponge mommy? 'Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises his mommy that he will help her find it. His mother says OK and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in and says that he has found his mother's sponge.' What do you mean you found my sponge? "The lady next door has it and she's washing Daddy's face with it!' This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? Brian: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi Brian. Brian: Hi Sharelle. Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. Sharelle: O.K. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ? Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8: 00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle ? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it ? Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em. Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass ! Radio Silence A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, "Are you alright?" In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?" The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'. What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman? What does a dog do that you can step into? What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages? What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? ANSWERS: 1. (talk) 2. (legs) 3. (a twenty dollar bill) 4. (firetruck) 5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 6. (pants) 7. (fork) 8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 9. (grit) 10. (last name) A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!" A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!" The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!" "Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!" The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?" The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!" "Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!" "Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either." A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1, 000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this. The man replies, 'I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now.' So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis. So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie. So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: 'First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it.' It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words, " he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well, " she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea." One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope, " replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."' A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?" He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

wuts the worst thing my mom can do.. plz help u guys this is rele important to me? okay.. my parents have been divorced for a few years now and after there divorce i got myself into a lotta trouble when i was 13.. and ive been back and forth with my mom and dad.. and when i got in big trouble i got busted at my dads.. so they made me move back in wit my mom that was 7 mons ago.. i now my mom is a newlywed i hate my step dad.. i hate the way they treat.. me .. my mom is brainwashed and all us kids kno us. its like i ahve to fight for attention and i ahte it. now ive been at my dads for 4 weeks and i cant go back. .yeah my dad drinks.. but he can control it... and so does my mom she just odesnt admit it.. my bro and my dad live here.. my dad has bad hours but someones alwaies here.. plz people help if i call my mom and tell her im not coming home wuts the worst thing she can do?? may i say.. that my mom is not the same mom i used to have.. she dresses talk and acts like shes a teenager.. sometimes i feel like im the mom. may i also say.. ive cleaned my act back up.. i got off everything.. and im rele doing good...now i just feel like if my mom makes me move its gonna go back to where it was..

I found a plate with pot residue and one joker wrapper in my sons room....? my heart is broken. He just turned 16. He is a wonderful boy, great athlete, who always talked about how much he disliked people who smoke pot...and they were losers.. He is the least likely person that anyone would suspect to do this... we just changed towns and schools (which was his idea and he is happy) due to divorce and I wonder what to do...what should his punishment be? We talked for hours about how he can ruin his life just by being with other people who do it at the same party..should it get busted etc.. not to mention what would happen if HE did it himself. help ?

How to ask for the kink? I am posting this question in Marriage and Divorce because my boyfriend and I have been together for a long time - and before you ask, the reason we aren't married is because I want to finish law school first, and he is fine with this. Here is my issue. Our sex life is great - I am satisfied with it, and he has expressed that he is, too. The thing is, that before I was with him (way back in the dark ages) I was a more sexually adventurous gal - but he is a more traditional lover. Not to mean that he's boring, because he isn't, but I crave a more 'depraved' kind of kink. His idea of a wild night is to bust out some kama sutra type stuff with me and get acrobatic, but I am more (historically) into more S&M (light) stuff, and some bondage/BDSM stuff, and I also really enjoy playing with toys. He and I have never done this kind of thing, and I am tentative on how to approach him with it, as we have been together so long, and he appears to be completely satisfied with our sex life. I don't want to hurt his feelings, or have him think that I think sex with him is boring. It isn't. I just have a little more of a wild streak than he does. Can you see how this is sensitive?

Will I get custody? She assaulted her ex b/f and went to jail!? I live in Ohio, if that matters. I filed for divorce over a year ago, but she countersued and won full custody, so I appealed. She started seeing some guy, but they broke up and she decided to go get sloshed at the bar while our daughter went to day care. When she went back for the last of her things (drunk as hell), she freaked out and busted up a bunch of his stuff, including his classic, restored pickup with a custom paint job. She resisted arrest and assaulted an officer. They gave her TWO zaps from the taser (LMFAO!!!) She's facing a laundry list of charges. What are my chances of getting full custody??? How do I initiate the process??? It happened on Friday and I can't talk to my lawyer until Monday morning!!!