War on Divorce

Why do some people scolded others for wanting to get a divorce?

I mean how can you tell somebody that getting is wrong? You don't know the whole situation so how you you determine that the couple need counseling if in all actually divorce is in the best interest. The spouse could be abusive, a gambler, cheater, or drug user. So why say you shouldn't get married when sometimes the person didn't see these things coming?

Public Comments

1. nobody likes a quitter
2. People shouldn't post their questions on a public forum if they do not want the opinions of those that are in great contrast to their own. Unless they post all of the intricate details of the situation, how is it that we are to make an informed, written response to their question? We respond based on what they present to us. If they don't give us the relevant information, then they as for the scolding they receive.
3. I'm with u on this one! This and ask god for guidance - when do people get to make their own choices that is right for them?
4. Religion could tie into it. I know in Catholicism, divorce is WRONG. It's a sin, and it should not be done. They believe, as well as others, that you should instead help the person with their problems rather than walking away. What is going to help the spouse? Leaving them? or Helping them with their problems with the support of someone else?
5. Usually because of Religious reasons but it Could be that most dont want other getting what they themselves are afriad to get.
6. I think a lot of people are just so quick to say its time for divorce, without even trying to work it out. So some people feel others didn't even try to work out their marriage.
7. because people are stupid. if divorce is the only answer then get one! don't listen to all the garbage people throw your way, they're just morons.
8. Everyone has an opinion. Hold your own and smile at everyone else's. See, I don't think it even matters what a person "knew going in." I think we can know and not know. I knew my husband was an alcoholic. I didn't really know what all that entailed until I had lived with it long enough. For me it came down to how I wanted to rear my son and that wasn't it. People can say really ignorant but well-meaning things. They even believe them. Life can sometimes bring an education about for people, if they're willing to keep learning. And I am a lifelong Christian. I think that if we all think about it, sometimes the old ways aren't really God's ways at all. We just keep telling ourselves they are and shoving problems under the rug. Guess what? We live in a world with cameras everywhere. No shoving stuff under rugs anymore.
9. Some people judge what they see from the outside looking in. They are not seeing everything that goes on. Those people are not very understanding. If somebody wants a divorce they have obviously have made up their mind!!!
10. Only the abused spouse could possibly know what it's like to be in the relationship. When you're yelled at each day, when you're hit each week, when you run your whole life so you don't upset the beast.... then you know it's time to get a divorce. Sure, others will scold you because they think therapy will work. They don't know that you tried therapy and one hour a week doesn't cut it..... you'd need to actually be married to the therapist for it to have a fleeting chance. They think medicine will help cure a "chemical imbalance". But, anyone that has lived with the chemically imbalanced knows that medications are often ineffective over long periods of time. Eventually, the medications are out of wack and the spouse gets the brunt of abuse again. They claim to know better than that abused spouse.... that they should never divorce, but they haven't walked in the shoes to judge. Best of luck in what ever situation you are in.
11. Because when they got married, they made a promise "for better or for worse" not only before their family and friends but before God the very designer of marriage. So to go back on your promise is a pretty serious thing and looks bad on your character.
12. Because some people live in a fairy tale land where love conquers all. Well, love doesn't pay bills and when you are the only one working and footing all the bills and your spouse,(who said he would be 50/50 in this thing) decides he doesn't want to work, or treat you like a lady , then you're gonna realize that you can do bad all by yourself. If someone no longer loves their partner, who is it for someone else to say, well go to counseling. Counseling can't make something out of nothing. Even if they aren't druggies or abusers or whatever ,this is now 2009, if you are unhappy in a relationship, even marriage, then you shoudn't be ridiculed ,forced or manipulated in staying in a situation that makes you unhappy.and everyone is not religious and have belief in God. I am not saying that i don't, i am saying the institution of marriage is not something delegated only to religious people, so how can anyone expect someone to follow "God's plan, if they don't even believe in God? Anyway, my opinion is Life is too short to be unhappy.
13. Because they aren't able to see anything beyond their thought of, "You don't get divorced." There are plenty of good reasons to get divorced! Plenty!
14. I am one of those people that are against divorce, in most circumstances. I believe that the only reason to get a divorce is abuse to either spouse or child, doing wrong things with the money that includes gambling or drug use, or cheating. I do get annoyed at people that say they want a divorce because they "aren't happy". I am not religious, but I believe in my heart when I take my marriage vows, I take them ultra seriously. I do think that today, divorce is so easy, that people make little to no effort to work out their relationships. Divorce should always be an option of last resort, not the first option to grasp at.
15. Well, if you want good advice, you wouldn't be asking it here. So, when you do, you have to expect to get personal opinions and not expert advice. Unless the person asking for the "advice" gives all the information, then you're going to get people suggesting counseling. The "he doesn't take out the trash, should I divorce him" questions, are going to get..."you need counseling" kinda answers.
16. Some people are simply under the impression that THEY are so together in their own life, they want to run someone else's too. Rarely are they right. Sometimes their intentions are noble. Perhaps they think someone is SO "over-run" with problems, they think their point of view helps. Politely thank them. If necessary, ask them to mind their own business.