War on Divorce - dedicated husband and father needs divorce advice.?

dedicated husband and father needs divorce advice.?

I think my wife wants to leave. I don't want to break up my family, and I have tried just about everything, counceling ext... but she does not even try to make it work. I told her If that is what she wants I will take 100% responsibilty of or 3 year old son. all she has to do is support herself. we have about 10,000 dollars in debt, witch she should be half responsible for. We have been married for 6 years, and she has stayed home with our son for 3. I wish we could work this out, we had a good marriage, and I love her more then anything. I don't want to fight over my son, both are good parents, and want to raise and see him as much as possible. but right now I am looking for advice if we do divorce.

Public Comments

Well if she wants out you need to let her go. She will do nothing but cause you and your son misery becuase shes miserable
If you do divorce Please communicate with your son and reassure him that it is NOT his fault. I talked with my 2 boys every chance I get and I have been divorce for 5 yrs now. We have a great relationship and they know they can depend on me for anything
Have you asked your wife about what she wants to do? Maybe she doesn't want a divorce either, but you won't know unless you communicate with her. Obviously, you still love her, and since you've been married for 6yrs...she must really love you too! Why not try spending some time together, just the two of you, and see how that works. Counseling isn't for everyone...some ppl don't like to share their feelings with a stranger. That's why I said to spend time alone, go on a real date, and talk. A little communication can go a long way. Good luck to you both, and whatever happens, make your child a top priority!
Have you had a heart to heart with your wife? Does she give any reasons why she wants to leave/divorce? I'm glad you may at least be able to part on speaking terms for the sake of your son. If she wants to leave then I guess their isn't much you can do if couseling isn't working. It may be better this way for your son so he doesn't have to see two people not in love. Worse comes to worse speak to an attorney to know your rights. Good luck to you.
I'm sorry to say this, but you had better get ready for something unpleasant. After the divorce, she is likely to spend every ounce of effort she can spare hassling you. She is not likely to give up your son to you easily. In her custody, he will be a fine weapon to use on you. (If she does give up your son, then she probably does not fit the profile I'm describing) There's little you can do about this except to get ready and keep your nose clean and your ducks-in-a-row as much as possible. I'm sorry again and good luck.
I know how you feel about divorce I have just had one recently myself.When I got a divorce he was unhappy too just like you believe your wife is and so I left . I tried to work it out just as you are but he didnt want to. Well i moved on with my life and started dating again then suddenly he wanted me back and by then it was to late and I had found a great new husband to spend my life with(after he and I had divorced of course). The point of this story is it takes 2 people to make a marriage work and if you both want it to work try taking a break and seeing other people you never know you both might wind up happier. Just try taking a break at first and seeing where life leads you. good luck with everything and just remember things will work out one way or another. Life isnt always easy and marriage is one of the hardest things you can ever do.If you love her and she loves you then you can make it work even if it takes a break to do it. If you dont then its for the best and you WILL find someone who loves you and needs you like you want and deserve ot be loved.
I feel for your situation, but it takes 2 to tango. If you are the only one who wants to make the marriage work, and she is not interested, there isn't a chance that you can care enough for the both of you. For the sake of your child, I would move on - get a lawyer to iron out the details and finalize this. I don't know what state you are in, but I was faced with a similar situation here in Texas - I wanted the marriage to work, he had no interest in it. He is a good dad so I wanted to make sure that he was still involved with the kids lives (we have 2 boys) I'd work out a visitation plan with your wife if possible and if not, with an attorney - you might look into the Father's Advocacy chapter in your area for assistance and a lawyer referral. My ex and I have practically 50/50 time with the kids and I think that's important. As for the debts and whatnot, in most situations, both debts and assets are equally divided as much as possible. Sit down and write up exactly what is owed, and what assets are joint (i.e. aquired after marriage) before you sit down with a mediator and/or attorney. Also, be thinking of the future when planning this - who will be responsible for paying for your child's extra ciricular activities? Car? College? Health insurance? Who will deduct the child on the tax returns? Who, if anyone, pays child support? While you might not want to think of divorce as an answer, a dysfunctional marriage isn't healthy for you or your child, and living in limbo like you are now is definately dysfunctional. Good luck!
Divorce IS hard on kids. There's no lying about that. My parents divorced when I was two. My first husband and I divorced when our child was 1 1/2. The important thing to do is always do what's in the best interest of the child. The divorce isn't there fault so don't let them feel as though it is (tell them it's not their fault). Another important thing to remember is that children often feel as though they're in the middle of their parents with each pulling an arm. Please, don't do this to your child - regardless of who gets custody. My parents did nothing but fight and as a result, I listened to nothing but put downs about the other. Don't do this either. Regardless of how you feel about your "ex," this person is still your child's mother and they don't need to hear all the negative. As far as custody goes, you'll want to seek the advice of a lawyer and petiton the court of custody. Unless she doesn't want the child and agrees to let you have custody, or there's a good reason for her not to, most courts will award custody to the mother. This isn't your fault and doesn't mean the court thinks your a bad father. Just be there for your son, pay child support, and visit and call as often as you can. I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for so I hoped this helped. Good luck! I hope you marriage works out. In the meantime, do what you feel is right. If you're not ready to give up on your marriage yet - then don't.
You're jumping the gun if you haven't talked to her yet about how you feel. And you're assuming that your wife wants to leave you. This might not at all be the case. TALK TO HER.
oh if you divorce she's going to want half of everything but worst of all she's going to fight for the sons. ask her where n you have gone wrong? what can you do to to let her know that you meant the bows and let her know men are not perfect but you really need to know what she's feeling and that is normal for marriages to have temptations of all kinds. Let her know you love your sons and all marriages go through things like this and that the challenge of marriage who will pass and who will fail. Good Luck I wish You the Best !!!!!!!