War on Divorce

Divorce advice?

My friend is in a really bad marriage right now her husband has been known to hit her and be very mentally abusive. She came by today and ask me to go to her county and file for divorce with her because he has been taking a flash light and a gun and searching every inch of the house everyday like ten times a day. He is on drugs or something but she cant even sleep so she is staying with me for a while. What would be the best way for her to go about this she is scared that he will try to come over here and hurt her and my family. He is a pshyco andvery capiable of it. So my question is what should she do and can she file for divorce in a different county from where they live. Will a restraining order really work for her if she lives here. Please any advice would be great. by the way he has no idea she is even thinking about the divorce and that scares her even worse what scares me is i am afraid that he will come to my house and demand to know where she is at and if i dont tell him he will harm me and my family

Public Comments

1. Call the police. They can advise you and help protect your friend.
2. She needs to add a RO to the divorce papers and you need to let it be known that you have a gun and will not hesitate to shoot anyone tresspassing on your property.
3. I would call the authorities and ask them ............................. what a concept ........ huh ?
4. Most cities have shelters where abused women can go to get away from their husbands. Contact the police and they can help her. For obvious reasons, the addresses are not public.
5. She's lucky to have a friend like you. Contact the police right away and tell them the entire story.
6. I would advise talking to the police to find out what you can do to protect her and your family also. You might check into what services are available in your area for abused women. They might be able to find her a safe place to stay and help her through her divorce also. She definitely has a great friend in you, but right now she also needs to seek advice from people who have experience with this sort of thing. Good luck and I hope it works out for her!
7. My advice is both for her safety and yours - monday morning, go to your police department and ask about filing an order of protection.. usually one can be filed at the courthouse and can be granted immediately.. at my courthouse there was a "legal advocate" who helped fill out the papers and stood with me before the judge. I was in and out with one in a matter of hours... Then she will need to go to the police dept where she lived, where she works, and any other places listed in the order of protection and have them make a copy of it to keep on file. She needs to keep this with her at all times. Immediately she needs to contact a Women's abuse shelter (listed in the phone book) and go there.. they have security and a safe place for her.. trust me, these women know how to provide for her safety and to help her with counseling, and help her get back on her feet. But, she needs to leave your home. I know it's harsh, but many times husbands fly off and attack the people that are housing the wife because in his mind, if you weren't there, she'd be home and it's your fault. You don't want us to read about your family on the news.. you've seen it yourself too often.. Be her friend.. but don't risk your family for her.. And, the women's shelter is experienced in how to help her with this.. Best of luck and you, your family, and your friend are in my prayers.
8. It really depends on what state you live in. In NC you can file in any county but a divorce here requires a one year separation. I agree with some of the other answers - she needs to go to the police and press charges if possible. If not, then she needs to get a restraining order. It should cover her regardless of where she lives. Once in effect, he would not be allowed to come within so many feet of her or her family. It will depend on how it is written. A police officer can answer all of this for you. All states are different so again, it really depends on how the laws are written in your area. Good luck!
9. She needs not only a restraining order but She needs to go somewhere safe for a good while. She needs to know that he is getting help in anger management and for the court to allow this to happen. She needs to get protection by a fire arm and a liceanse to carry it as well as self defense lessons. It is time for women to quit taking abuse from men (wimps) and to find the man who will treat her right and take care of her in every way.
10. I would definitely find out where the shelter for women is and take her there, as your life along with your family is in danger too as long as she is there. He will be angry with you too for letting her be there. The shelter is trained to take care of this kind of thing-get her there quick. They will help advise her of everything she needs to know, they are trained for it, you aren't.
11. Dawn, Go to the authorities and report him as such, a restraining order is better than nothing, ASAP, A friend Jimmy.