War on Divorce

How can i avoid divorce ?

I am on the brink of divorce with my wife. Problem is I still love her and she too does, but her pain is heavier on her love, which she has ceased to express. We had some problems in the past, but not that big to separate, however one day in anger i said her to leave my home and i dont want to see her ever again. Since then the things have gone on a bottomwards and show no signs of improvement. I need to get her back and avoid the separation, however she has stopped talking or repplying my mails. Please help.

Public Comments

1. forget her she's gone... dry your eyes mate, plenty more fish in the sea.
2. compromise with her c her and tel u cant live without her...
3. hey im not that mature but i know forsure as i have attended alot of courses on how to forge relationship with parrents XD i hope you dont find my answer lame but listen up Do's: when your wife ask you a question just try to get deeper into the topic and when u find that shes confortable with it, you can talk about other stuff and to end it all of,i think you shud ask her out^^ DONTS!: DO NOT I repeat DO NOT! answer 1 syllable answers it feels like your not interested in the topic that she started and + if you do that to much, She may get even more pissed ooh yea before all of the crap which i said, PLEASE! bring down your ego if u have any just strip it all of and say that you know that you have been a jerk in the past and what now and hope that she can forgive you ^^ best of luck!
4. hey don't loose hope......... true love doesn't end like this just show her that u love her may be she is thinking that u will be more happy without her.tell her that she is ur life ............& u wanted to live ur whole life with her..... I am sure she will understand u good luck
5. Hey, you told her to leave - and she did! You should have tried to work things out before they escalated into you kicking her out. If she won't talk to you, or reply to your e-mails, then you can assume that she's finished with the relationship and you both need to move on. You're only other hope would be for you to go where she is and speak with her face to face so that you can apologize and express your love and desire to be with her in the future. I wish you well!
6. Sam, you said some hurtful things to her, and we as women, just don't forget the words that are ugly, just our nature. You are going to have to really work at wooing her, court her all over again as if you aren't married. Send flowers, candy, and meaningful card, but do this gradually. Ask her on a "date" and take her to dinner. It is going to take a lot of patience and time. It is not going to happen over night. After a period of time she still won't respond, then I am afraid you have lost your wife, sadly, but don't despair, give the courting a try. Best to you!
7. Now where she is ? If she is with her parents go there. How are the relations with your parents especially with your mother ? If these relations are good, go along with your parents. After going do not talk about the past. otherwise all in vain. Best of luck !
8. Ahhhhhh yes,, again, matters of the heart,,, perhaps the most complicated of all that we humans have to deal with. Never regret how you feel for her or for that matter anyone, especially when they have touched your heart and it is clear that she has done that to you and you to him. I am not sure what you mean she is keeping her distance from you. Perhaps she is thinking the same you are thinking only she has acted on it by believing that you two have a slim to none chance of being together. In this case, I suggest follow your heart. Stay in touch with her, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Once in a while surprise her with a small gift, does not have to be expensive token to let her know that she is on your mind and that the distance between you will not change how you feel about her. In the morning, once in a while txt her "good morning" and wish her a nice day. At night once in a while txt her good night and wish her well. Again, it is clear that she is in your heart and while you may tell yourself that she is gone and you should try to forget her, your heart won't listen. If that is the case then you love her more than you know. If she loves you she will answer you. an honest sincere good person does not just look for physical, smiles, money in a person. A good trusting, is forgiving as in your case, is a caring person wants and desires more than materialistic things and looks. Such a person seeks to maintain something deeper than the heart of another person. You really search for the other person's soul. The part that you say "I need to get back and avoid the separation" tells me a lot about you and that you value your marriage. I am like you, a man and recently divorced and for over 18 years I tried to make it work and believe me, I understand how you feel. I suggest don't stop letting know her how I feel and once in a while a surprise her with something unique, Time will pass and you can say that each day is closer to being together again instead of feeling sad. So don't quit on her and yourself, let her know that you love her and just by telling her but most of all by doing things, little things that show her that you care about her and that she is on your mind. Never regret love and purposely try to wipe it away. Yes it hurts so much sometimes but you also know it is the greatest feeling you can possibly have. God bless you and her regardless of your destiny. Express your love for her until she clearly lets you know she has another. Until that time, don't stop. True love will test your patience and time.
9. " Leave MY home, I don't ever want to see you again". If you were not able to recant that line before she moved out, shame on you. It sounds like you were a bit stubborn and let her go while you were still angry. Pride, stubbornness and ignorance got you here. You might suggest some therapy for yourself and some couples counseling. More likely you made your own bed, deal with it.
10. What stood out the most about your explanation was, "i said her to leave "MY Home......" Shouldn't that have been "OUR" home. If that is any indication to how you think about the life the two of you shared together, then YOU need some big changes within yourself.
11. you've hurt her...it'll take time to undo that. she probably lost a lot of faith she had in you and your relationship. you have to show her why she should come back
12. hi ... I think you have done a big mistake in the first instance. I think you should be meeting her in person. This is a crucial stage for a relationship. I can understand your situation. Its very hard to part with the partner whom you love more than anything. I suggest you meet her in person and dont tell her that you will be meeting her. Just surprise her. I hope you Know her Zodiac. Read about the characteristics of the women under her zodiac. Then probably you can get a solution to the ways of getting her back (learning about her weaknesses or strengths). If possible involve your and her parents for the discussion (Last alternative... sometimes might work well). Or even her close friend or close associate (A relative or cousin). But it will happen only if you can make her feel that you have realised your mistake and are regretting for the same. You will definitely be lucky with Good will and Strong Positive attitude. All the Best for those happy memorable moments in your life.
13. Sam, true love never fails and u talk to her from ur heart and everything will be ok. I am sure u two with live together a happy life. All the best.
14. Don't write mails. Go personally to meet her & appologise for your behaviour. If she loves u, she will come back with u. But remember, never lose your temper, when u meet her. all the best.
15. Take her for a picnic and spend three full days with her, without ta liking about the past and assure her that you will be new husband and she will be a new wife and come to a contract like agreement and pour out your complete feelings and allow her to speak like that . Problem will be over. She will be yours for ever and you will be hers for ever. All the best Yours VRVRAO
16. just once tell her that i really love yo and by heart saying u sorry. just once listen to me after that it is up to u
17. speaking from experience love doesn't conquer everything. words do hurt and even though we all say things in the heat of the moment sometimes we don't get a chance to take it back. sometimes we say what we really mean even when we aren't sure we mean it, ya know. is it possible that the only reason you are worried about getting her back is that you are scared of being alone? maybe that's what's she's worried you're apology is about. if you really want her back then all you can do is try, but you have to be careful not to crowd her or force her to see things your way. she has a right to be hurt and angry and maybe she saw something in you that she's asking herself the question of whether you are the person she thought you were. evrything happens for a reason and you have to live with the actions and words you put out in the world. hurting the people you claim to love doesn' t really sound like love to me, but I do understand saying things in anger. just give her time to figure out her head and heart, you seem to have taken the time to do that
18. When you say something that hurtful, you need to realize there are going to be serious consequences. You said she was already in pain about things, consider how she feels after hearing you tell her to leave "your" house and you never want to see her again. I don't think anyone out there would blame her for not speaking with you now. If your words were said in the heat of anger, you should try to tell her that. It sounds like you want her to be around when you feel like it, and be gone when the mood strikes you. Just put yourself in her shoes.
19. U were childish while treating her as your wife. Both of u must apologize to each other & follow good religious principles to live in peace & harmony. Both take oath that such things will never be repeated. Past is dead like history . Be positive, cool, sweet , soft sincere & tolerant in words & actions both while interacting with her otherwise u do not deserve to be a good husband. She is not like your ordinary friend rather your WIFE, much more than just a friend. Wife is the most beautiful living gift provided by God to u. If u don't care her the way u should, God sends series of troubles to careless men. Most of ladies are emotional & delicate too. Take special care while dealing with her. Improve your people dealing. Love her as much as u can as if u have married her today itself. Have sex daily as much as u can to please her as much as possible & see the difference in your lifestyle. Never overburden her in works. Share in her works too otherwise she will think that u don't love her the way she deserve. Go for sightseeings frequently at least once a week to places of solitude where she can tell what is there in her soft heart. Try to listen the interior of her heart too otherwise what kind of real principled husband u r . Good luck.
20. There is only one way, understand wat u did 2 her and apologize. i dont think u got it, how much ur words could have hurted her. "ceased to express"..mann tat says a lot(its her emotional state...so ask urself, @ wat degree..shuld a women take an action like tat, bttr check whethr she is depressed,i wont b surprised) i really feels sorry 4 her ..and u say "but not that big to separate"? wat u mean?? i dont see any reason y she shuld go on like this, from ur own words, wat i undrstud was..she had already made a big wall around her, which u couldnt break...i thnk u pushed her toooooooo far.... But there is alwyz hope, do not give up, realize urself, all makes mistakes, if she could forgive u...ten things might work, but ..i thnk u need 2 realize urself first, & I dont thnk u got it. anywyz..gud luck
21. How about a fabulous, special vacation together? If you're away from everyday worries, you may be able to discover each other again.
22. Hi, My answer is that you had better read Save My Marriage Today written by Amy Waterman first( http://save-the-marriage.info ).I believe that you can solve your problems after reading that book. Good luck!