War on Divorce

What can people do to avoid having a divorce?

Public Comments

1. avoid getting married
2. NOT get married. Alternatively, make CERTAIN of your choice before getting married (get pre-marital counselling, get some more pre-marital counselling, GET A PRE-NUP no matter what because it really shows the heart of the other person IF your marriage doesn't last, read books about compatibility, talk to people who know both of you, ask God to show you if you were meant to be together...) After marriage, follow the teaching of Jesus about love, marriage, etc. See a Christian psychologist if things get rocky. If that doesn't work, go to another one.
3. communicate with loving thoughts of one another.....
4. People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built
5. marry a woman who actually loves you
6. umm... well work things out..communicate..we cant tell you what to do so you don't divorce..
7. simple!!!! don't ever get married in the first place!! ha! ha!!
8. I guess the most important thing is to marry someone your not going to divorce. If you figure out how to do this you could write a book about it?
9. Talk.
10. Get marriage consoling...
11. Make sure the person you married is some one you can live with forever.
12. be understanding compromising loving open their ears and if it still dont work then maybe it wasnt meant to.
13. Family or marriage counseling.
14. Sometimes divorce is really unavoidable, but the best way to try is to talk to each other before it's too late...be honest with one another!
15. Maybe try to get along. Talk things out.
16. brutally honest and open communication is the only way.....
17. Try getting married for the right reasons and realize it takes work to keep it going. You can't just get divorced if it gets a little rough.
18. give up selfishness.
19. Communication and sex are very important in any marriage.
20. i have that same question...
21. To always be open and honest about everything! Communication is a big plus in a marriage!!
22. get counciling. I recently heard that they did a study which showed that most people remain "in love" for 3 months. I think thats kind of sad, if true. Counciling seems to work for alot of things though.
23. well, dont cheat, dont argue, and if you have a child, think about how it would change the kids life to not be a normal family. thats what happened to me!
24. Avoid getting married. Okay, that was too easy...but it's also true. What I expect you are looking for though is ideas to hold the marriage together. Don't rush into marriage. Don't ignore red flags before marriage. Communicate. Work on issues/problems don't just argue and then let them go. Commit to working things out and not bailing at the first sign of trouble. Love one another.
25. Marriage is a two way street. Sometimes you give and they take other times they give and you take. It is almost never a 50/50 thing. If both people realize that and work together then it can succeed. If one of them forgets that or just gives up then the marriage is in trouble.
26. Always hear each other out no matter what that should help out in understanding each other! And counseling.
27. learn that neither one of you are perfect and compromise
28. be patient, helpful, understanding, loving, etc.
29. Make good decisions consistent with staying married. Respect the spouse's feeling, opinions and needs. Be kind to each other. Smile at your spouse every day.
30. Divorce seems like a common occurrence these days. In the "old" days they stuck it out through thick and thin! Yes, times are more stressful now but it is still possible to work things out before it comes to the big "D". Counseling is always a good idea. Honesty, trust, communication, and support are key!
31. The only foolproof way is not to get married. More practical would be to get to know your future spouse really well, DO NOT have children prior to marriage. Get premarital counseling, and discuss *honestly*, all of your goals for the future.
32. Just have the thought that you guys are in this together. You two are a team facing the world together... so try to stop the war that is amongst each other. Especially if you have kids, just try to work it out for them. Remember that people do not always get along with each other and most of the time people don't. But just try to stick it out... get help if you can and try to make it work. You don't want to fix something so temporary(your fighting would be temporary) by doing something so permanent(divorce).
33. when you find out please let me know.
34. Divorces come from marriages that fail...I just got out of a relationship that failed. Why? Lack of communication, and the person gave up on me. There are key factors you have to have in a relationship or marriage in order for it to survive. Trust, Communication, and Dedication.
35. As long as your spouse is your best friend you won't get divorced.
36. Work at keeping your problems solved Don't hide things from each other. remember that you should satisfy your partner, it's your partners responsibility to satisfy you. Don't argue about money.
37. Take the "til death do you part" vows seriously!! Realize that marriage is not a hollywood movie and it is serious work and if you aren't completely committed not to bother getting married.
38. Communicate. This is the most important thing in any relationship. Just last week I was reading an article where older folks were being interviewed and answering what kept them together and communication was always number one. In today's disposable society many people view relationships/marriages as the same, disposable. However, there are truly only three things that should be considered as possible reasons to end a marriage. These are Abuse, Addiction and Adultery. All other events that happen throughout peoples married lives should be dealt with and discussed to resolution.
39. If the relationship is heading towards divorce it is probably not going to change. Sadly divorce rates are extremely high. its really a question of why is your relationship heading towards that? If you two just dont get along at all then its probably best to get divorced and spare eachother the misery of marriage. make sure its friendly dont try to take eachother for everything. If its just a matter of a few issues (one feeling too claustraphobic, one feeling lonely, etc.) then work on those issues. talk to eachother about them and put a true effort into fixing the problems. Marriage can be a wonderful thing when both people are working towards the same goals and when each cares greatly about the others happiness. but when your not its like your in a Ultimate Fighting Championship match with eachother and if you stay in your going to get beaten up. Hope I have helped =) good luck
40. don't cheat.. simple as that seems like everyone gives excuses for cheating.. there is no excuse.. everyone is like "oh he/she just fell into my lap while i was naked" i have no sympathy whatsoever for anyone who cheats, period. also a lot of people seem to make decisions that aren't mutual.. communication is a big factor.. if you can't accomplish any of these, then you are far too immature to get married! =)
41. Not get married? How about this , take your time,meet the right person and prepare to work hard to keep them happy .Just remember being married isn't always easy,but with the right person it is always a gift.Someone to share your life with is a blessing and should be experienced by all.
42. The biggest issue is respect. If you and your spouse respect each other then that takes care of quite a few of the emotional issues. You both also have to be at peace and be able to love yourselves, it lessens the stress on yourself and your loved one. Financial problems are just money and what is more important is the intangible things in life... you can buy creature comforts but you can't buy the emotional satisfaction from those you love the most. sometimes tho it's necessary to divorce if there is danger towards you and/ or you're children. i don't know you're situation, but i wish you the best of luck and just try talking with the other person, maybe both of you just haven't been communicating about what's bothering you.
43. They have to both make a conscious choice not to, and to do what it takes to keep the relationship together. According to a number of relationship therapists, the main reason love fails or why people look outside their marriage is because they are not fulfilled by their partner. This happens because of a lack of communication and effort about what is important in making each person in the relationship feel loved. Couples need to clearly define what it is that the other person does that makes them feel happy and then each needs to put effort into the behaviors that show the other person they are loved. For instance, it's important to my wife that we spend quality time together. This doesn't mean being in the same room with the TV on, but connecting, looking at each other, talking and bonding. Try this the next time your wife walks into the TV room ... Turn it off or mute it, focus on her, perhaps even go over to her and ask, "So what's on your mind?" Tivo's got you covered, but honestly, even if it didn't, you'll get more fulfillment out of your life-long relationship than your 30 minute sitcom anyway.
44. Number One fan of Osun... a man and woman who marry who want to avoid getting divorced.must respect each other.. recognize struggles.. be sympathetic, notice health problems, be willing to introspect, be non judgemental, BE honest without trying to harm. We should all remember at every moment that the word love does not mean being cruel.. being dishonest.. or anything negative.
45. Marry someone who makes you laugh, who can both listen and communicate. Respect each other, grow with each other and experience life together which includes the good, bad and sometimes ugly parts. Be your spouses best friend.
46. Marry someone who shares your values, morals, life views, and future goals, such as career vs. kids, etc. COMMUNICATE! Put their needs above your own. Not to say you deny yourself comepletely. But, if you marry someone w/ that same mentality, guess what? both your needs will be met. Never, EVER marry someone who's achieved perfection in their own eyes. If they're always right, always better, never wrong, never at fault, never to blame, never responsible for their own choices.....then they are not ready to get married!!
47. If only life really came with a guarantee. The best advice I have is to go into with the attitude that you are in it for the long haul, and marry someone who shares the same value. It's still not a guarantee, but if the relationship is easy,(as it should be) it will work out.
48. That depends upon the individuals involved in the marriage. There are different reasons to divorce someone.