War on Divorce

Need divorce advice please?

I'm wanting to file for divorce from my Husband. We have two small children, and I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years, so no income on my side. Does anyone know of low income, or anywhere I can go to for assistance is filing for divorce. He has been verbally abusive for many year, and has become more so to the point I don't want my kids nor myself to live this way any longer. I've given him too many opportunitites to make changes, and he has continued to get worse towards us. I have two little boys one will turn 4 on the 15th of this month, and my other son is 20 months. My husband works OTR right now, and it's so sad to think how peaceful and happy our weeks are when he's gone, to the constant chaos we go through during his few days home each week. Please any advise out there? For all of you out there who insist on adding your two cents worth, theres a reason they call it that. I have been the most devoted wife and mother, my husband is only gone for 5 days not two weeks. Theres much more to the story, so be careful what you throw out there, as I was only wanting some advice on filing, not marriage advice. I've been a wife that has supported my husband through many things thick and thin in our marriage, and also had to endure alot of verbal and a ear ago physical abuse, he was arrested, and I got him out of it to give him that chance to change!!! I'm an educated wife and devoted mother to my children that has commited to my family for the very fact of " Family Unity" and therefore have to make my children my MAIN priority given my husband is obviously not interested in changing. I've threatened divorce, asked for counsling, you name it. Just in the future, please be careful of how you read into others seeking a bit of advice.

Public Comments

1. Contact your local social services for direction!
2. Dont make your problems my problems lady.....please. so i picked up your laundry the other day....you owe me five bucks.
3. Look for your local women's shelter, they should be able to help you find resources.
4. Is a divorce what you really want or will counseling work? You can go to counseling yourself without him to sort out these issues and try to make the home life better for you. If you want a divorce go out and get a job.. not meaning to sound rude but if you want to get away from him and do it on your own... you have to get a job to support your children and do it on your own.
5. So a divorce because of that. Wow... You really wanna tear your family apart. If your husband is unhappy there are many reasons. It may be hard with two kids being there. He may be upset he cannot see them and also because he is always gone. He may hate his job and want something else. He may also see that you are not the same because you probably do not act like you use to so he may be insecure thinking you are cheating. He is gone for weeks right. So what better time for you to be able to see someone else. I would say that if you truly love this man and would love for things to work to tell him that if things do not get better then you are going to file for a divorce. See what makes him so unhappy and try to work them through. I just see you are giving up way to easy.
6. go to the courthouse, ask for a do it yourself packet. type up the paperwork your self. then go back to file it, ask for the fee waiver form. they will waive the fee for you if you have no income. and then he'll only have to pay his part. then you'll get a court date. oh yea don't forget to change the locks after you file. and to the guy above me, are you really telling her to stay in an abusive rlationship? get a life.
7. Your going to have to get a job. The reason I say this is you need to save some money up that way you have money to fight back with. Call around where you live and find out about a cheap lawyer call the local health department they might be able to help. I hope this helps you.
8. His money is your money. Hire a low cost attorney and pay for it with the same money you buy groceries with! You can always research representing yourself in court. I know my judge gave me heck for even having a lawyer, but I wouldn't have done it any other way! Also, your husband might be required to pay some alimony while you get up on your feet.
9. Your situation is close to my own...BUT I am the one employed F-T- HE has been unemployed for almost two and a half years---thinks he is self-employed-yeah right!. Second chances-yeah right! [they are ok for the first couple of days then back to their old habits/ways]. They cannot or will not CHANGE-so true. So what to do? I ask myself too...why can't they change cuz you have right? You have done everything to keep it alive and going-right? And then the children...*heavy sigh* I, too, just have to DO IT...file for divorce...I no longer want to live with "abuse". AND I have been married 13 years! You are still young...life is meant to be happy for you and your children. It is hard...so much to divide...BUT...you will one day look back and breathe a big sigh of relief-glad you 'just did it'...
10. There are so many organizations out there devoted to helping people navigate divorce. I recommend:www.secondsaturday.com, and www.divorcesource.com, they are loaded with services, tools, laws by state, local resources as well as active message centers and forums. Good Luck! I know it seems overwhelming, but for the sake of your children you have to push forward.
11. Where I live there is a place called House of Ruth. It is for women only. They help protect people who are trying to get away from abuse. I had to go to them for help once. They can answer alot of question you have. They offer advice and assistance to those women who want to help themselves out of a bad abusive relationship. It doesn't have to be only physical abuse it can be violent verbal abuse. I don't have the number anymore but I do know for a fact I got it at a local court house when I had gotten a protective order. The other good thing is they have their own legal department and help women for little to no cost.