War on Divorce

we have been in seperate bedrooms for 10 months now-the divorce is in going due to posssible sinkhole -help?

the last three years have been awful-the first two years he faked having cancer to those at work--then quit his job and had no income for nine months this year he claimed voices and bugs were after him and the tv was watching him.he returned to work a few months ago-so i had said how do you think your boss would like to know that you faked having cancer -that you went to a psychiatrist whodx you as psychotic/psychpathic-he threatens if you do i'll qiut my job and you wont get any child support for ouur sevenyear aspergers child-and that if i claimed that he has a small lawn cutting business hed sell it just so he didbt have to pay-now mind you he works for the state.Yea both names are on the note-but his crap is just to nuch to stomach-i wouldnt dream of putting another person throughsimilar activites-he steals from me and our son-he lies habitually-i know icould leave but in paying rent elsewhere and being obligated to pay half the rent here i d be busted-im on s.s.d. so it counts

Public Comments

1. no he legally has to pay you if you have custody of your kids
2. how did u get into that mess. work on your self esteem.
3. wow!-get out
4. leave him! you can do btter for yourself & your son needs abetter roll model. social services will help you and go to a safe house first they will get you going in the right direction....
5. if you are still legally married to him, have him committed to a mental ward for his own good and your safety as well as your family
6. I am so sorry you're having such a horrible time. If you decide to divorce him- Get a record of everything. All of the finances, the deceptions, scams, EVERYTHING. (Of course don't let him know you're doing this) Perhaps try recording your conversations or arguments on the matter of divorce/finances/etc. Go to a divorce lawyer (once again, in secret) and get expert advice based on your individual situation. It sounds like this is very complicated and you need legal advice. Good luck.
7. dont worry about the money he can give you for support.. i you get help from state he will have to pay them back. and if he wont work your not going to get anything anyway so would be a good time to throw his ass in jail..if hes going to set thats the best place for him to set and make sure he dont do anything.. you need to get out of there before your in deeper then you are now.. you need to leave him like yesterday.. dont wait.. you dont have to play rent there just where you live.. they cant touch your s.s.d. check..i am almost sure of that..my friend had a lawyer tell her that.. but make sure with your ss office or a lawyer on the phone even so you dont get charged for that..life will be only as miserable as you let him make it.. now run girl run.. good luck
8. this is a lot to take in and very complicated. Your going to have to separate yourself from the situation and start all over again. Get with some family and get this resolved, you need to follow through with some actions against him and get things rolling. You need to take you and the kids and find family to stay with until you can get everything cleared up. The relationship, debts, child support, court order he seeks and gets medical treatment. Sounds like a lot of "lies" on both parts or could be your really in a bad situation. If so time to make a change. Either you go with the child or he goes and if you have to a court order to get him out then do so, if he sole signer of the home, apartment or condo, time to make a tough choice, you gotta get out. If not for you, your son..... It doesn't matter that you would not act that way what matters is the choice you make. You can stay and things will never be the same or get better, or you can move and take things one step at a time and get your life back in order for your son........good luck Every county, state offers low cost or free legal services I know it's not always the best but it can get things rolling....check your phone book or the net, call the court house. It can be done
9. Why are you still there? Make yourself a plan. You know what you can do. It might be wise NOT to listen to him. Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? It will take some planning .. but you can better your life.
10. I agree on different points on everyone that answered to this point. I think you need to some type of action. If you care enough for him and believe he has a mental problem. Seek him help, just watch how you do it (type of help). If he's just ass, you could do better. It's not good for your son, I believe it was. People don't learn by watching the mistakes of others. Kids usally follow the foot steps of what they learned. Get him and yourself some help through a professional. You should keep or get records you may need in the future. Last of all you might want to get a lawyer. If your serious about a divorce, and get one you to know. Divorces are not cake walks.They hurt physically and emotionally. You'll have your ups and downs, your goodtimes and your bad times. Not getting a divorce just because of the straggles you may experience is not a good reason.You do it not for the reason it;s best for you because you've come unhappy. You do it when it's in best over all interest of your family. Look at what the family gains to what the family looses(emotionally, physically and financial). Don't set hurtles in front of yourself (excuses for why you should or should not) you'll face enough over time. Do whats best! If you go through with it you can have him removed from the house with a restraining order or protective order. I'd advise you to be sensitive and resonable to all involved about the matter. I was married twenty years and dated my ex-wife for four years before getting married. The two of us had two kids and one other child through a earlier relationship and two grand kids. I didn't want to get married at first or want to have kids(she asked me to marry her). I changed my mind and we got married. We had a family together. My family was my life. I went to the first day of school every year with all the kids when they were young. I'd go to their classroom with them and we'd meet their new teacher. I'd hangout just until my kids would give me the signal that we worked out before arriving at school. This would tell me that they were alright and felt comfertable enough for me to leave. The signal was so the other kids wouldn't know they were scared on the first day (all my kids did great in school and had great grades). I never missed any events of any my kids(school, church, scouts and of their sports events) I volunteered in school. church and my wife and I ran the snack bar, we were board members of our kids baseball and softball leagues. I spent 90% of my time away from work involved with my kids watching, coaching or helping out. Over all the years we purchased a home the belonging for the home and belonging to maintain the home. We bought nice cars for us, we had cats and dogs that were part of our family. We built savings accounts, retirement and investment accounts. When family memebers past away as my mother and father had I inherited items from them. We built a life and a future together. She decided one day she no longer want to be married to myself and filed for a divorce. She had me removed physically from our home where I was only able to get myself just the most basic items before I was escorted out with no place to go. Shortly later on she allowed my brother to move in a while. She allowed him and others to use items that belong to me and my brother drive my car. When we went to court I hadn't hired attorney, the court froze our assets. Come to find out that she had a serparate account that she had since she was a kid and had been saving for years that the courts weren't aware of. I struggled to pay my child support and all my other debts even through I was unable to use them and they in her possession until the cout ruled on matters.When we went to court I asked the court for only one thing, to be fair to the both of us. Not to rewarded my ex-wife more just because she had a lawyer and I didn't.The law is to be equal for both parties. Well I lost everything I ever earned, purchased, given to me or I inherited through any of my family memebers. I say I only got the clothes on my back. I didn't even get all my clothes. I lost my kids. She made them believe things about me that are not true and never were. I lost everything because I didn't want to fight. I wanted the best for her, myself and our kids. Well come to say our family was destroyed. Why because of greed and selfishness. Don't be that way just do what's right. Sorry about the lenght of the answer but this is a very serious matter. No one deserves more because one person thinks the others ass. Its not about one thinking they were better in the relationship. Do it only if your right, do whats right for you family. Just do whats right! Well best of luck, I hope everything turns out for the best !