War on Divorce
Helping a partner through a past divorce, any tips?
My partner and I have been together a year. He and his ex-wife divorced nearly two years ago. He still has a barrier up because of it and is still hurting from it. It can be frustrating because although he says he loves me he actually can't look at me and say I love you!! Anybody got any tips how I can be supportive without feeling like I'm not getting what I need?
Public Comments
- sex will cheer him up. he wont even remember her. if sex doesnt work hes gay.
- I think you should let him know. You always come first, If he needs time to sort things out give it to him . But its not fair to you for him to string you along when hes not into it. Give him time to figure out whats good for him. If its not you be glad you found out now not later and if it is he will come looking.
- Well, you aren't getting what you need. Maybe you are, but with baggage! All you can do is tell him that you can be trusted and you're not going to hurt him. It is up to him to believe you or not. If he doesn't SHOW that he trusts you with his feelings, then you need to re-evaluate the situation. Don't become the rebound relationship and be hurt.
- I feel for you. You are definitely in a tight situation. Do you really feel like he loves you? Are you sure he can really love you when he can't get past his ex? All you can do is tell him how you feel. Tell him what you need. Let him know that you can help and be supportive but that it works both ways. Tell him sometimes things just aren't good for you and you need back up.
- You have to be more patient. But at the same time, don't let him take advantage of you. Make yourself special to him by showing a confident side of yourself that he can grow from and gain confidence in himself because his confidence was shattered after the divorce. Do different things than the ex and him. Be creative so he will forget her and realize that he is better of now. Time heals all wounds, but being spontaneous and fun instead of needy and overbearing will make all the difference in the world. At the same time, make him feel like he is not the only one who has eyes for you in casual confident way! good luck!
