War on Divorce - Quick divorce advice for VA.?

Quick divorce advice for VA.?

I’ve been married going on 8 long years. It just isn’t gonna work. The army has me gone most of the time. We’ve been separated 3 times (not counting numerous deployments) & dragging this thing on for years. We have no kids I bought everything we own. No house, investments, ect, ect. Like stated before I am in the army but doesn’t mean I have it made. In fact it just the opposite. My wife is vindictive b/c she suspects me of cheating but I haven’t. She said if I try to leave her she’ll ruin my career & in the army a allegation is all you need. She wants to work it out. I really don’t know where to begin. I want a quick & painless divorce (yea right). I want everything b/c I bought everything but would give all that up for my freedom. I really want to keep the car. We for the most part are bill free so I can pay for a decent attorney. My plan right now is to let her latest temper tantrum settle. Kiss her butt & since I’m deployed again for another 6 mo. Hit her up with some papers.

Public Comments

If she is as bad as u shows then y did u carry relation for so long.whatever u have stated is one side of coin,what is other side ?
if you are gonna serve her with the D papers while deployed, she is gonna freak. So you must have everything you own or care to keep safely stored away or it will have a huge risk of disappearing. Best thing would be to start talking with an attorney now, he will be able to guide you along, establish a plan of action based on the time that you want this to go down. Will she be so evil to you, and ruin your career in the Army by acusing you of some BS??? If so, maybe you could talk to your C/O ahead of time letting him know of your plans??? I don't know, but that is another thing a lawyer should be able to help you with. Good luck no matter what.
IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM LIKE YOU ARE STATING, AND SHE THREATENS TO RUIN YOUR CAREER WITH UNFOUNDED NONSENSE AND THROWS TANTRUMS, THERE IS ALWAYS AN ALTERNATIVE.....TECHNOLOGY. SUCH AS A MICRO RECORDER, ETC (DO NOT RECORD TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS, WHICH IS ILLEGAL, UNLESS YOU FEEL AS THOUGH THEY ARE BECOMING A THREAT). THIS CAN BE USEFUL WITHOUT SAYING A WORD TO YOUR WIFE, FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS, ETC. GET IT TO YOUR ATTORNEY ASAP, AND GET YOUR DIVORCE. IF YOU ARE AS MISERABLE AS YOU SAY YOU ARE, YOU WILL NOT FIGHT OVER MATERIAL THINGS. YOU WERE MARRIED FOR EIGHT YEARS, SHE WILL BE ENTITLED TO A LITTLE SOMETHING. GOOD LUCK, IT WILL WORK OUT IF YOU PLAY IT SAFE AND MATURELY!
first off.. giving her the papers while your away will not help anything.. she will look at it like you're a coward and dont want to face her in this time of... uh.. for lack of a better word.. craziness!! i would def. stick around when they are served.. second.. i would def. have a lawyer present when you sit her down and explain what's about to happen... either that or i know this might sound crazy.. but get her on tape saying that she would make some shit up about you doing something you weren't supposed to.. cuz i've known many a soldier to go down in flames because of a crazy ex wife.. anything to discredit her character.. a witness around when she says it.. and make sure it's not one of your buddies or a family member.. a mutual friend would be good.. this way a court wont be bias to the fact that their your friend or your family.. but what you really need to do is sit her down and talk to her.. try and make it seem like you can't stay in the relationship because you being away to much is putting too much stress on her.. and that it's not fair to her that you're always away.. try and make it as peacefull as possible.... but either way dude.. divorce is never pleasant... and as far as your stuff goes.. unless you have credit card receipts with your name on it and you can show that she made no deposits into or towards that account... or that you can show it was your possesion when you got married... things will get split down the middle.. but hey if you're willing to give it all up.. maybe she will just take the stuff and run and it will go smoothly... good luck dude!!! oh and... thanks!! for doing what you do!! i get to sit here and give you advice... because of ppl like you!! I SUPPORT MY SOLDIERS!! God bless you man and stay safe!!
I agree with "the critic" above. The only thing is you can't expect to get everything even though you bought it. I think most states have laws that if it is acquired in the marriage that it is both of your property. Divorce is never easy though. It's even harder when you have a vindictive spouse. At least there are no kids involved. I got lucky because I left for years before I filed. By the time I did file it didn't hurt him so bad. You should really worry about your career though. I know all it takes is an accusation for your life to be royally screwed up. I would talk to my commanding officer and get his view on this. Also let him know what to expect. Maybe approach your wife with " I don't think it is fair that I am never around to be here for you." and "I know you are not happy and I know you want this to work but I think you would be happier away from me." I know this is lame but at least it might make her feel better about letting you go. Don't forget to pray about the situation.... for both of you. I will pray for you as well. You put it in God's hands and trust he will take care of this. Good luck! WE LOVE AND SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!!
You won’t get a quick divorce in VA. Assuming you don’t have fault grounds for divorce (ie adultery)…in order to get a no-fault divorce, you have to be separated a year. That time can be reduced to six months if there are no children AND the two of you have a property settlement and separation agreement, but it doesn’t sound like she’s going to agree to that. You also won’t get everything. Anything purchased during the marriage is martial property and will be divided (even if she never earned/contributed a penny during the marriage). And given the fact that she will likely do whatever she can to make things difficult, I also don’t think it’s a good idea to do this while you’re deployed (and again, there is the one year separation requirement). Talk to your JAG office.
Sounds like a plan. Get out before she gets pregnant!