War on Divorce

Tips on getting my husband to stop slurping?

Usually this behavior from him doesn't bother me all that much - I've been in a relationship with him for ten years now, I'm pretty used to his bad habits. Although now that my business has taken off, I'm being invited to very nice dinners and events - he slurps soup, pasta, anything with liquids very loudly, and draws attention to himself in restaurants - I know he realises it, but is so embarassed about it that he gets mad if you point it out or suggest he change the behavior. Please note, this isn't one of those situations I'm going to divorce him over - so please leave that out of your answers. Again, it doesn't bother me when it's just us - but I'm afraid of what people will think when we're out in public. And how he'll feel when it happens. Any tips?

Public Comments

1. Let it go. If he ain't changed in 10 years, what makes you think hes' gonna change now?
2. Well the only one I can think of is to slurp too while you are at home. Make it loud. When he gets annoyed, tell him that is how he sounds and that you would please like him not to do that any more. Sometimes you have to act like them to get them to change their behavior.
3. If he actually wants to try, then make a signal that you can give him when you're with other people (i.e. you kick him lightly under the table and then wink at him). Since he doesn't know he's doing it, he needs your help to know he's actually doing it.
4. Tell him the truth His table manners need work and the lack will hold him and you back. My husband was a junior ex on the way up. we were invited to the big bosses house for a dinner party along with a few other mid level managers and their spouses. One wife was just terrible She was dressed in appropriatly and had a habit of talking with her mouth full and one or two other things that marked her as either ignorant, ghetto or just plain stupid. That man never got a promotion and left the company after being told that his wife did "not fit in". they divorced very soon afterward. Don't wait until you are out in public to discuss this do it now or do it before your next social affair. This could be hurting him too so he should take note. People base a lot on a first impression maybe right maybe wrong but it is true.
5. pay for some etiquette classes for him
6. while i would normally go with the slurp at home comment and try to "prove" to your dh what he sounds like...i have tried this, it doesn't work :( my significant other thinks it's funny when i eat like him to show him a visible sign of what he looks/sounds like. very frustrating. like you, i don't care much if it's just the two of us, but in public, i find it very embarassing. his take is it shouldn't matter and to him it doesn't. my take is, you are a grown up and should be able to show reserve when required. like you, i won't leave my b/f over this trait, but where you are concerned about nice dinners and a business setting, perhaps instead of pointing out the 'flaws,' instead point out the importance of a 'good impression' and if hubby doesn't agree, suggest you go to dinner alone. i also liked the idea if he IS willing to try, to set up some sort of clue in case he doesn't realize it...then he can kind of correct himself. it is however, my personal belief, hubby is quite aware of it and has done it for so long knowingly, now it is just habit...so it will take a long time to break (his trying to break the habit, you can't change him). If he really feels it is unconscious, and he doesn't want to do it but feels he can't help it, maybe look into some sort of hypnotic treatment. Personally, I am not a big believer, but I know people who swear by it.
7. Don't take him out into public anymore. You both know the whole deal, he's aware and you're aware. So there's no point in social events with him where there is food.
8. Teach him the proper way to eat, if he doesn't eat right ask him to not consume those types of foods.
9. Tell him a gay friend that you have makes that noise.