War on Divorce

Why do people get a divorce..its supposed to be for better or for worse!!?

I love you...many people take that lightly. What changes when you get married? I want to know whats the difference when your not married..i know that most couples get a joint account..but what causes them to get a divorce. Im not married..im just want to know why people get married and then a year or a few months later they are divorced and act like they hate eachother. Violence and Adultery are understandable.

Public Comments

1. sometimes she turns out to be a whore and cheats on you. You can't put up with that. Overall, people don't take their vows seriously and are selfish. It has to be give and take, not take and take.
2. People make mistakes...alot, especially where "love" is involved. The people they think they married end up not being the person they married. As well as a myriad of other reasons. Basically it comes down to: IF you're not happy, why stay miserable?
3. marriage is not what it used to be. divorce is the easy way out and Americans look for the easy road.
4. well, either one of them has done something that they simply cannot be forgiven for, or one of them has given up on trying to work it out. Any given fight can be like that if either one just decides they are done with fighting and dont want to deal with it. It's kind of immature really, but thats the way some people are, they just dont care to try to make things better.
5. It is because we live in a society of disposable products. Most people have been so spoiled that they have never had to work very hard at anything. It is just easier in their minds to "Get a new one" when the old one quits working for them. That applies to all things in life now days. People have no sense of commitment or moral threads that hold families together when times get tough. They get the whole better thing, it's the worse they struggle with. Covenant in marriage is suppose to be the strongest bond two humans can form, and it is treated like a piece of paper that can be tossed away, and most times is. Lack of faith in God and the belief that you have to have a commitment to Him in the center of your marriage makes a big difference, when you have someone to be accountable to for your unity you work harder at it. That's just my take on it anyway.
6. I believe that couples 'forget' why they got together sometimes, look at other couples and want more from their relationships...communication is a key issue when it comes to divorce. Also, you have to be 100% sure that the person you are marrying is definately the one! Living together for a couple of years and going through all the hardships i reckon is very important before you decide to marry. It all depends on how much you love the person also. You must keep doing things together too (like going out for dinner etc)
7. they did not love each other as they proclaimed
8. You should not generalize. Each person has their own opinion of why they wanted a divorce. Ask them yourself.
9. I love you doesn't have to mean I want to be with you and nor should it. My partner and I have had a joint account since we moved in together, you don't need marriage for that! LOL! I think what it is when couples break up so early is that they just can't stand living with someone. Maybe you have some experience with this and room mates. You could love your best friend to death, but as soon as you move in to the same apartment you're in each other's hair and find yourself annoyed with the way they do or don't do the dishes or the hours they keep at night if you're a morning person who goes to bed early, who knows!! Living together is not like seeing each other socially! Besides, in the past, marriage was the easy way of life. Society has changed making life easier in many ways and that includes a lesser need for marriage.
10. well I went into my first marriage believing that I could possible change the man I married ( needless to say) I couldn't as he didn't want to change he was abusive in everyway possible and drank all of our money away.... I did before I got married believe in better or worse but he wasn't going to take any resposability for his own actions and I didn't want to have to take the responsability for him anymore we have a son together and I couldn't let my son grow up thinking it was ok for a father to beat his wife and lay around and get drunk all of the time and never spend time with his family
11. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, all this is good as long as you remain true to each other.
12. We live in a disposable society. There is no longer the respect and will to keep a relationship going. People cheat because it's easier than confronting their spouses to tell them they are not happy with them, so adultery should not be an acceptable reason, you both should have had the communication skills to work it out before it got to that point. There is no accountablility for actions. Alot of Marriages lack respect
13. Violence (lack of self-control) and Adultry (lack of integrity) are not understandable, and they demonstrate fundamental character flaws. That being said, couples that do not respect one another, aren't compatible. So when you think about that, do you behave in a way that earns you respect and does not lower your partner's interest in you as a person? Something as simple as a bad attitude, can lower their interest in you until they cannot respect you anymore (assuming they ever did respect you). That's why some people say relationships take work: for them behaving in a manner that is respectable, demonstrates high integrity, self control, keeping a positive attitude, being giving and flexible as well as assertive is work;however,behaving in a manner that is contrary does nothing but undermine your partner's interest in you and respect for you. This is what is wrong with all the whiners who complain about "communication". If all you communicate is negative, demonstrates lack of self-control, and so on..., then you are undermining your relationship. Your spouse is not your psychiatrist, and it is not their job to fix you, and smart people dump losers instead of marrying them.
14. I think some people get scared and blow things out of proportion. After they get married, it suddenly hits them that they are "stuck" with this person for life, and after that it just magnifies any issues they have. Instead of digging in and working on the issue, the would rather run from it. It may be a fear of commitment, or responsibility. I don't know. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some people need to have that out that being married takes away. They feel trapped and claustrophobic, I guess. Also, it's easy to stay married when times are good. it is also easy to promise to stick it out in bad times, but sometimes it is much harder to stick by when things just seem to not be going your way. You give up and want to start over. Some of this is society. It used to be a scandal to get a divorce, so people had to work on their issues. Now it's normal, so leaving is a lot easier than it used to be.
15. Many cases are due to injustice , unbearable, no love that causes Divorce . Hence, it will be good to divorce and find new life to go on with. If not why must they suffer. Already life is suffering, why add more to it ?
16. Because sometimes love is not enough. Lots of people get married at a young age, and it's not until after they spend a year or two they find out that the person they married is a lazy jerk, or someone who won't find a job, or drinks like a fish and yes we always have the cheater and control freak.
17. People don't know how to handle awkward situations and rather than stick together and tough it out they give up easily. I am not talking about violence or adultery, those are breaking the vows.
18. Sometimes your partner changes, and then after so many years all the things you loved about them aren't there anymore and they aren't interested in trying to make things better. The heart of it is that one person can't hold a marriage together no matter how hard they try, if the other simply stops being a partner (or wanting to try). I think sometimes the "forever" mentality can make your partner think "I got him. Now I don't have to try anymore, he'll always be there." Sometimes the other partner just suffers in silence, sometimes they eventually give up trying and divorce.