War on Divorce
What are good sound reasons for getting a divorce?
My father told me to set what would make me divorce my husband and just deal with whatever did not fall in those reasons.
Public Comments
- my girl friend said if he hit's you if he cheat's on you hit's yr kid's doesent treat you like he does when his friend's arent around
- If your spouse is beating you up....that is a sound reason.
- You cannot change a person. The person you met before you were married will be the same person years after being married. Actually they will be a little worse because once married, people relax and let their hair down a little. So the person you are with before you are married is actually the BEST they can ever be. The bottom line is, if there are things you cannot handle about the person RIGHT NOW, it will not change later. So you already know if you will divorce someone before hand.
- Watch for the red flags prior to marriage. But when in love, we often miss the red flags, so if that happens, here are what I consider serious and justifiable grounds: Adultery -- many people can't move past this. It's a physical betrayal, but also tears at you emotionally. I personally think it's one of the most difficult ones to resolve. Abuse -- physical or verbal. Verbal often gets overlooked, but it's namecalling, screaming at you rather than holding a normal conversation, talked down to, and did I mention yelling and screaming? If you ask the person a normal question, like "do you have any change for the toll?" and they start screaming that "all you do is harp about money," you've got a problem. Physical is obvious, but don't overlook punching walls, breaking dishes, etc. Watch out for signs of roughness or meanness to your children and pets too. Control Freaks: This is also a form of abuse, but these men want to know your every move, monitor your phone calls, read your email and voice mails, won't let you go to the mall alone, etc. Insist that if you get a new hairdo or buy a new dress, it must be because you're cheating with someone. This is usually disguised as jealousy which women may think lattering -- at first. Don't be fooled. Control freaks also don't want you to hold a job or have any money of your own. You must beg for an "allowance." Financial: There are a lot of men who live off women. They have jobs when you meet them. Then, something happens, and it's always the company or bosses fault. They tell you they're out job hunting, but nothing is happening. Next comes laying around on the couch all day, sleeping, watching tv or guzzling beer. Weeks turn into months and it's just you working. Or, the person flits from job to job and can't hold a job. This man will plunge you right into financial ruin and guess what -- you can't get them out of the house all that easy, if it happens to be your house and not a joint home. Keep an eye out that they don't dip into your wallet. A dollar or two missing, here and there, usually becomes much more. You'll get behind on bills, your credit will suffer. Don't stand for this. Addictive behavior: Drugs, alchoholism, gambling. Will cause you nothing but stress, pain and financial hardship. Don't try to be the hero and "help" the person out of despair. Unless you are rich enough to get them into very good rehab, like the movie stars do, it probably won't work. Addicts can only be helped if they want to be and you'll be surprised how many enjoy the behavior and have no desire to give it up. I've seen men go to AA or a counseling session, come right out and stop at a bar. It is almost a joke with them. You may keep gamblers out of casinos, but they'll spend a whole paycheck on lottery tickets or the football pool. Illegal behavior: Selling drugs, stealing, pulls insurance scams, (or any scams), etc., RUN. He'll eventually get caught and you might get implicated too! Do you want his record to become yours? Good luck.
