War on Divorce

What do you think is one of the main causes of divorce today?

What is your answer to this question and please explain why you feel this to be true? I really am looking to feed back on this question today! This really ineterests me!

Public Comments

1. selfishness.... it's all about me for most people
2. main cause of divorce? No trust. People rush into marriage before they learn and gain trust for the other and think constantly that they are cheating.
3. money problems account for most probs, just talking from experience hun but there are other factors also, infidelity, dishonesty, and the total lack of just sitting down and talking about stuff. hope this helps
4. lack of communication and honesty
5. Lack of communication and trust.
6. tired of the same crap day in and day out. not giving each other space. selfishness, coz marriage involves some sacrifice.
7. Selfishness and unrealistic expectations. Most people (females specifically) are about self gratification now. They feel that the man should treat them like a queen but a lot are forgetting that without the King there is no Queen. When a Queen lost her husband in ancient times, she usually got her head cut off. The point being is that they have this fantasy about this perfect man who treats them like gold while they do nothing in return. Then when the real does not live up to the pretend they get a divorce. The same goes with men. Some of them can be way more selfish than any woman.
8. "Holding the other person to a higher standard than you hold yourself." As a divorced person I often felt as though I was somehow subservient to my ex-wife. I did not feel as though we shared common goals. She had an endless list of things she wanted and did not like the way in which I carried them out. Did I mention she would not help? If you do not want to participate don't complain about how the other person attempts to make you happy. That boils down to complaining for the sake of complaining. This coupled with a general lack of trust among both parties. I would have to say that "Holding the other person to a higher standard than you hold yourself." is the main cause of divorce today.
9. My hubby and I have been married over 25 years. It has not been until about the last 6 or 7 that we finally made peace with each other. We have been through tragedies and joys together and we finally understand which buttons not to push on each other. I think the main cause of divorce is first, people have the misconception that marriage is like on T.V. or the movies, always romantic and passionate, and second, it is so easy to bail out if things aren't going right. Marriage is a learning experience for both of you and you change as you get older. Things that used to bother you don't now, you have different priorities. Staying together is hard at times, but well worth it in the long run. I am probably more in love now with my husband than ever, even though we are both getting grey headed. I love every grey hair on his head!
10. The family changed from "Dad wears the pants in the family" to Mom and Dad are partners in the business of family. The expectations men and women have of one another and subsequently of marriage have changed. Couples expect more of one another and from their marriage. When two people are married and over a period of years at least one person, if not both, undergoes a significant change in self-concept, the marriage will also change. The selves that married are no longer the same. If interests, goals, values change along with a changing self, you have a different dynamic set up between the two persons. Some people will seek a second or third partner with whom they feel more compatible. It is no longer sufficient for a man simply to be a terrific provider and for a woman to be an outstanding homemaker. People expect more. Men and women want intimacy, romance, affection, understanding, commonality of interests, conversation, common values, and exciting sex, to mention a few of the more common requirements. They want an equal partnership with one another, where both parties participate equally in all of the decisions pertaining to the home and to child-rearing, regardless of who is earning more money. Increased longevity, increased affluence, and increased opportunity for personal growth, when combined with significantly changing expectations regarding marriage, suggest that people must learn new or different ways of relating to one another if their marriage is going to survive. When this is not possible, either for lack of desire, capacity, or interest on the part of one or both parties, divorce becomes an option.
11. Rhoda, There are different reasons for divorce. Communication or lack thereof. 2. It is too easy to get one now a days. Couples go into marriage with unrealistic expectation of each other. When one party doesn't live up to the others, out they go. Finally the main thing is, a lot of couples don't lean on the Lord for guidance and direction. Kat
12. infidelity or financial difficulty
13. Not sure if there is just any ONE main reason. I personally think most divorces, are caused by two people getting married for the wrong reasons. Most usually anymore...when their pregnant...when that is the reason for marriage, it isn't long, before it ends. Then of course, there's infedility. No one wants to live with a cheater Then there are the financial reasons...usually I think it's the women who leave for this reason, because they feel they can do better on their own, plus the perks of child support and alimony and what-knot..and don't feel their husbands are making enough money. So yes, most usually, I think it's for selfish reasonings. And expectations not being met. I think people have more expectations when they get married, than are reality. Marriages take work, constant work, and people are too lazy to work at it usually.
14. The main cause of divorce is definitely how easy it is now days most things in life can be thrown away and replaced so marriage seems to fall into this bracket many people my age their parents stayed married till death do us part but today most people i know have divorced and some not just once but many times ME better the devil you know marriage still going strong and i will work at it to keep it going strong PS my wife isn't a DEVIL lol
15. Denial! You're denying that its over, and he's denying that he's still there!
16. "...without the King there is no Queen. When a Queen lost her husband in ancient times, she usually got her head cut off." Wow! Tiff couldn't be more wrong about this whole King/Queen thing, could he. Am I right?