War on Divorce

Why do people immediately think divorce?

I have noticed that many people, especially on Yahoo! Answers, resort to divorce as a knee-jerk reaction when things in their marriage goes poorly. Why do people immediately look at divorce as an option instead of trying to address the problems and work through them?

Public Comments

1. Those people are cynics who see the glass as half empty.
2. because it is easier
3. coz the answer is staying with the one that hurt you thats why..
4. selfishness and laziness
5. because in a quick-fast world, of email and microwaves, it's the fastest and laziest solution.
6. Because there are certain things that are just not forgivable
7. Depends on the problem some problem there is no working on the marriage like wife beating, child abuse etc.
8. Think about it. It is to much work for people now days to work things out. Some people are so stuck in their ways and think that it is easier to just give up (which it is) rather than put in the honest effort to work things out. But on the other hand it does depend on what the situation is, some people are not willing to bend for certain things.
9. They have never learned the art of communication, so the easiest thing to do is run.
10. Because when you've begged them to stop sleeping around, when you've asked them to go to counseling, when you've given the ultimatum that the porn and online relationships are destroying your marriage, when you've made it clear the behavior is a deal-breaker, what else is there to do?
11. It's an easy solution. Working out your issues/problems requires effort, and most people are too darn lazy to put forth any effort. Also, if you stay to work on problems with your marriage, you might also have to admit you have problems, too - or that you are part of the problem.
12. I'm all for offering ways to improve ones self before trying to do anything towards their spouse.... Between that and open, honest and tactful communication... If both parties aren't willing, then divorce is inevitable... Of course, if people were a tad less selfish and tried a bit harder... we would have a lot less divorces on our hands. Of course, this isn't a perfect world... so...
13. It is a projection of their own regret for not divorcing their ex sooner than they did.
14. Divorce should be one of the many solutions so that when facing some real hard decisions that you don't feel that you are locked into a box that you have to be the martyr or not have a way to successfully work through your life and get back to a true loving environment for yourself. Sometimes staying together is not the best answer. Everyone needs to work through their own stuff but all options should be open to discussion. It's your life and everyone needs to deal with it based on their own experience and decisions. A lot of times, those who have divorced found that they were much happier and had the opportunity to experience much more love in their lives with deciding to leave the relationship by divorce and therefore are suggesting that as an option. No one should ever feel so trapped that they can't figure out what to do for themselves.
15. Personally, I think it's because most people don't want to put in the time, effort, and energy to repair and strengthen their marriage. About half of couples realize it is a lifetime project; it takes constant work. When you run into a problem, it is worth it to isolate it, evaluate it, and come to some type of mutual and constructive solution. The short time of pain and emotional distress is worth the joy and sense of one you will experience significantly longer when you are able to co-exist happily again. I firmly believe that if both spouses want their marriage to work, it will because nothing will discourage them to keeping their marriage strong. Compromises and trust occur naturally, making their sustainability solid. Basically, some people will work things out, and some just don't know how to change.......
16. Because we live in a throw away society with a boatload of people who want immediate satisfaction, and do not want to put in any work to get it. Really cant put it any more simple.
17. Because there is not way to work in a two-people problem, when just one of them want to work, but not the other one. Divorce is a choice.
18. because they give up and stoptrying to make things work
19. I've read all the answers and I believe there are instances where a divorce is not only inevitable, but the best for all concerned. I have noticed though that the typical Answers answer is divorce, no matter what the situation is. People are too quick to jump to the conclusion that someone is incapable of changing or doing everything possible to save their marriage. Divorce seems to be the stock answer here and in society as well. Couples who hit a tough patch and opt to stay together instead of divorcing are often frowned upon. It seems like it's more acceptable and honorable to get divorced than it is to stay in your marriage and fight for it. It is much easier to run and divorce...you don't have to work at anything, you don't have to face your own failures or poor choices that may or may not have contributed to the problem. When you run up on a wall in your marriage, it's easier and less painful to turn tail and go the other way than it is to find a rope or ladder and climb that wall. Bottom line, people are too lazy to do the work required to stay in a marriage.
20. I think it's because most of the problems people bring to YA are irreparable. There are a lot of questions about serial cheating, abuse, no respect for the spouse. If these people have not already tried counseling I suggest they do, but you are right most responders just say get a divorce. I also try to remember I am only hearing one side of the story.
21. It depends on the reason. Cheating is to me grounds for divorce your partner is showing you that they don't respect you and what your Vows meant. I think most other things can be worked out. Read the Bible and you will see the subject of the devils work, which is what cheating is.
22. Because they weren't taught that marriage is sacred and something to fight for. Most people are taught, or learn to run away from things that are hard. They don't want to admit blame and actually put emotional effort towards making something work. Dealing with emotions makes most people completely uncomfortable. Its much easier for them to blame the failed marriage on their spouse, and run away.